Yesterday I went to Dubai and came back on the same night. The road was very crowded, and all I could think of, is something I've seen a long time on a stand-up comedy show. I've also read the same part later on, when that Comedian published his work. So here is what I thought of:

'Have you ever noticed that when you're drivin', anyone goin' slower than you is an idiot? And anyone goin' faster than you is a maniac?
"Will you look at this idiot!" [points right] "Look at him! Just creepin' along!" [swings head left] "Holy Shit!! Look at that maniac go!"
Why, I tell ya, folks, it's a wonder we ever get anywhere at all these days, what with all the idiots and maniacs out there. Because no one ever drives at my speed.
Actually, I don't let people drive at my speed. If I see some guy in the next lane keepin' pace with me, I slow down. I let that stupid get a little bit ahead, so I can keep an eye on him. I like to know who I'm drivin' near. In fact, quite often at a red light I'll ask for personal references. You can never be too careful.'------By George Carlin, from his book Napalm and Silly Putty.

He is so funny, and so true in a crazy way. Because that was all I could think of as I was driving back.

I bought a couple of books from Magrudy's. I've heard so much about this book, so I rushed to get it: The Alchemist, by Paulo Coeliho. I also bought The Clan of the Cave Bear, by Jean M. Auel, which I don't know if you've ever heard about her or her book? I've never read for her, yet. I thought, why not? This book is the first of a series of five books.

I arrived Abu Dhabi around midnight and went straight to bed. I was too exhausted to even think. Or do anything else.

One of my all time favorite bands is Take That. This band split-up few years ago, I don't know if you remember that or not? Gary Barlow was part of this band, also the very famous Robbie Williams and Mark Owen. This is the lyrics for the last song they sang together before spliting up:

HOW DEEP IS YOUR LOVE

I know your eyes in the morning sun
I feel you touch me in the pouring rain
And the moment that you wander far from me
I wanna feel you in my arms again

And you come to me on a summer breeze
Keep me warm in your love
Then you softly leave
And it's me you need to show

How deep is your love?
How deep is your love?
I really meant to learn
Cos we're living in a world of fools
Breaking us down when they
All should let us be.

I believe in you
You know the door to my very soul
You're the light in my deepest, darkest hour
My savior when I fall

And you may not think I care for you
When you know down inside
That I really do

How deep is your love?
How deep is your love?
I really meant to learn
Cos we're living in a world of fools
Breaking us down when they
All should let us be.

I love it. I hope you liked it.

Yesterday they were playing the movie French Kiss on MBC. Isn't that just a great movie? Meg Rayan and Kevin Klien, amazing chemistry between them, great plot, and extremely funny. Especially when they first met in the airplane, how he distracted her from her fear of flying, it crackes me up every time.

About the movies here in the UAE that are showing in the Cinemas, the best two movies available that you should watch if you already didn't are : Minority Report and The Bourne Identity. They are totally worth your time.

Aren't you sick of that stupid advertisment for coca-cola? You know the one with the four guys who are trying to flirt with the girls. I think it is very offensive. On TV you see the advertisement with the girls covering their hair, in the movies, same advertisement but the girls are wearing shirts and their hair is not covered. Why is that? This is stupid.

I started packing for France, already. I know I still have two weeks left, but I want to get this out of my way. I'm supposed to be there on the 13th of September. For a whole month, until the 15th of October. I think it's going to be useful for my career.

But a whole month from the people you care about and love...such a long time. I hope I can bare it. I really hope I can do that...

I'm glad my new style is getting more responses, it flatters me and encourages me to write even more. Thank you.

If you want to read about Greek Mythology, try this book : Heroes, Gods and Monsters of Greek Myths, by Bernard Evslin. This book is easy to understand, they even give it to young students in schools. I think you will enjoy it. You can also check this site: http://www.GreekMythology.com.

I'm loving those new ADNOC petrol stations, with their little shops. Specially the new one on Gulf Road, the one with Popeye’s in it. You know why? Because they are open 24 hours, which could really come in handy, since nothing quite opens so late here in Abu Dhabi. Have you checked the one on the highway to Dubai, the one in Samha? It looks like a little Mall from inside, with shops, fast food, even an internet cafe'! Amazing.

For some reason, I can't remember the name of the Indian restaurant that I went to. I think it's called Cavily or something like that, which is very odd for an Indian restaurant. They are often called a name which includes the word 'Palace'. It was a good restaurant though, I recommend it.

I can never get enough of watching 'Big Daddy', starring Adam Sandler. It makes me laugh every time. I surely can't wait to watch Mr. Deeds, I think I will love it too. If you go abroad, or to Al Birami, Oman, try buying the movie 'Little Nicky', also for Sandler, it's an amazing movie, but unfortunately, it's banned from the UAE. In that movie, Adam plays the son of the devil, and he goes to the surface to look for his two brothers. Very funny, seek it.

Go and watch The Bourne Identity, played by Matt Damon. You won't regret it.

I wrote these two poems:

Collision

I didn’t mean this, nor did I intend,
To have these feelings, more than just a friend.
I fell in love; For love, the rules tend to bend.
I didn’t want to fool you anymore or pretend,
Something against my creed, which I won’t defend.
Don’t ask of how this occurred, for I, myself don’t comprehend.
Where, how or why this feeling began to blend,
All I know is that I don’t want this to be our end.
I want us to forever be and our heart will mend.

From this feeling I can no longer hide,
I’m in love, being just a friend, I can’t abide.
A feeling that cannot be separate from you or divide.
Denying my love, made me feel like, to my soul, I lied.
Do you see the grass greener on the other side?
So take your chances with me, let’s go on a life time ride.
Without you, my world will collide.


Date: 28th August 2002
By: Taintlessness

Insane

I have to say,
I’m in love.
As much as the ray,
Is loved by a dove.

I don’t mean to pry,
But again, I didn’t want to lie.
I just want you to know,
That I’m in love with you.

I’m not saying this because I’m full of pain,
Instead from this love, I’m full of vain.
Now, your love is all that I want to attain,
Because if I don’t, I’ll be insane.


Date: 28th August 2002
By: Taintlessness

The dinner was fine. We went to this new Indian restaurant in Abu Dhabi. Yup, the whole family. I'm glad they didn't tell the waiters that it was my Birthday, I really hate it when everyone else would look at me while they are singing. How are you supposed to look when they sing to you. What do you do? Grin stupidly. I hate it. So I'm glad that didn't happen. Other than that, the day was as normal as ever. Yes, I was right, there were no gifts. Too old for gifts, you think?

Yes, finally. The comments are back and working. So tell me, tell me everything.

I'm so into Greek Mythology, yes, I know I'm weird and I'm proud of it. But even in a subject as complicated as this, I wandered into it as I read. I found something which struck me as funny, that is why I wanted to share this with you: Hades, the Greek God of the underworld and the lord of the dead, is in fact also the god of wealth. Isn't that funny? Just like the old saying, nothing is certain except for death and taxes. That made me laugh, I wonder if it's making you laugh too.

Finally, the project with the very talented lammtara is almost over. Soon, you will see something that I hope you will like, as much as I did. You wouldn't have to wait for a long time any more. Brace yourselves.

Enough, the movie with Jennifer Lopez, is very good. If you have the time, go and watch it. For guys, do not take any women with you to this movie. For girls, bring all your girlfriends and if you are married take your husband and just watch his face instead. Those are just few tips from me on how to get the maximum enjoyment from this movie.

Are you into stand-up comedy as much as I am? I wonder. I love stand-up comedy shows. I've got loads of them in my room. My absoulte favorite stand-up comedy show of all times is...I'm telling you for the last time, by Jerry Seinfeld. Yes, he is the best. His comedy is so simple, yet so true. One of my favorite lines for him, is this:

'I don't understand women, no matter how much I will try, so I've just stopped trying. I can't understand how women can pour hot wax on their legs, then rip the hair by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.'

Isn't that just so funny? I think so.

Yes, it's true. Today is my Birthday. No, no, don't start singing that, I hate it. Ok, good you settled down.

It's really not a big deal to have your birthday in the sense that nothing changes to you, it's a regular day but with a title. That title is 'Your birthday'. But still, it is special to see who will remember it. It gives you this very warm feeling inside to know someone remembered. But you can't expect everyone to remember your birthday. After all, that day is mostly just special to you, it came with you. The date is engraved in your memory as much as your own name.

I wrote this poem for all the people who remembered:

Happy Birthday

A new day has just shone,
Upon my soul.
A new feeling that I’m not alone,
That I wish upon you all.

Remembering my Birthday,
What a sweet thing to do.
For every other year I just lay,
And no one else knew.

So my thanks go to you,
For when it’s your birthday,
I’ll be here too,
Wishing you a happy birthday.


Date: 27th August 2002
By: Taintlessness

So today my parents and sisters are taking me to eat out, on such an occasion. I don't think I will receive any gifts though. The dinner is my gift, I guess.

The movie Antitrust is good, not great but good. So yes, there is no harm in watching it. But if there are other movies that you are sure that will be better, then by all means go ahead.

What do you do when you miss someone so much. When that person is on your mind all the time. Even when they are with you. And you don't just miss being with them, you miss everything about them. How much you connect with them, how much you can be yourself with them. Feeling like your world revovles around them. You feel helpless without them. You feel so lost. So what do you do?

I've written yet another poem yesterday, but I will post that later. I missed writing here, blabbering away about what I did and what I felt. Though I haven't done that enough ever. Which struck me as odd, because I love writing, and I love myself, so why wouldn't I not like writing about myself. Maybe I'm afraid to let whoever is reading this to know more about me, afraid that if I let these people know what I think about and do all the time, that they would find me a different person, a person they wouldn't like. Not that I'm horrible or anything. Afraid that I'd seem boring, unworthy of their time to read my simple life. Simple rules I use to go through this complicated life, but they work. I'm still here. Thank god.

So today, I'm opening my heart to all of you.

My sleeping routine have been a mess, and still a mess. I sleep in the early morning, and wake up late in the afternoon. I know I need to fix it, but it keeps me on my edge, it gives me the chance to be totally alone and allows me the time and space to write. My passion. It also gives me time to think and ponder about new ideas about certain stuff.

Sometimes I spend my time watching TV, my favorite channel, is paramount comedy channel. I just love comedy so much. I love comedy sitcoms. My absolute favorite shows are Seinfeld, Everybody Loves Raymond, That 70's Show and The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. They are just hilarious. I also watch other channels, such as the movie channel, or discovery when my mind is up to new information. I am moody when it comes to taste, but not moody in the sense of getting upset or any of such sort. Sometimes I would like certain stuff, sometimes I won't. But there are always few things that I can do no matter what my mood is.

A lot of the time I go online. Banoota's Homepage and her chatbox is the one that I'm mostly at. By the way, her site was reviewed by Zen Channel recently. I also go to e3ashig's homepage a lot. I try to update this journal of mine whenever I have something worthy for the people who read this. Chat with friends if they are available.

Today I've stumbled upon a personal homepage for a really talented guy, Dreamer7. You might've heard about him. He is truly a good writer, I think you won't regret paying his website a visit. It is certainly worth it. Here it is: Dreamer7 Homepage.

Yesterday I've finished the book I was reading for age now. I just never had the time to read as I used to. But I'm done with it. 'The Stone Monkey', by Jeffery Deaver. I highly recommend it for all of you. I will add a review of the book in the next few days onto my homepage. I've started reading 'The Summons' by John Grisham. I like it already.

I don't know about you so far, but I feel good writing, and letting myself go. Opening up. It sounds like being strapped on one of those surgery beds and being opened up by surgeons. Ouch. Nevermind, change of subject.

I don't like to put similies and happy faces, or sad ones, or blushed one or such sort in my journal, or anywhere in fact. You wouldn't see me putting a lot of them there on purpose. I think that words alone could do the job of showing the emotions of the writer. So that is why, you wouldn't see them in here. I believe so much in words and what they can achieve. I believe that words can make a person happy, or sad. Words can express the deepest feelings. Much like an artist, a poet or a writer can paint a picture with his words. Each word representing a brush stroke added to the painting. And the whole piece or paragraph is the painting.

People often underestimate the power of a word. That is why some might say things without thinking clearly before saying them. And words can hurt, oh yes they can. That is why I like to think before I speak, allow time for my response. Saves me from being in a lot of trouble, I can tell you that much.

Anyway, got bored of me yet? No? Ok, I'll just post the poem I promised you all, so here it is:

'Rebirth and Death'

As I was sitting with a friend,
Suddenly you were there.
I didn’t even comprehend,
Why I couldn’t help but stare.

I didn’t even know what I was talking about,
I was lost, but I found myself in your eyes.
I was confused, but you shook off all doubt,
That I was in love, that much I could realize.

You came and you were gone,
As fast as a stormy wind.
Being among the crowd, yet I felt alone,
I was left with feelings that could never hind.

Seeing you was my rebirth,
As for the first time I drew a breath.
You left, my dreams were shattered to earth,
And that moment, my beloved, was my death.


Date: 25th August 2002
By: Taintlessness

You think I should write more, more often? Tell me.

Fighting For my Dreams

The one with the talent should write,
The one without it should try.
For they will wrong you when you are right,
But you have wings and you should fly.

I cannot sit still,
While they ravish my dream.
For I have a will,
And my dream is closer than it seem.

I will defend my creed,
I will defy the world.
For my dream is all I need,
And I will guard it with my sword.

I will prove the world wrong and let them see,
For I am fighting for my dream until it comes true,
For my dream was and will always be,
To be forever with you.


Date: 23rd August 2002
By: Taintlessness

In this one I tried to rhyme the last 2 words of the whole poem. This was very difficult. But I managed.

Falling Apart

Looking upon the moonlit oceans,
Hiding feelings, like my heartfelt notions.
Feeling my wounds, my hurting scars,
Losing my dreams and hurtling stars.

All that is left, this aching gush,
Nothing to agitate this breaking hush.
I speak without moving my lip,
I touch the shadows using my fingertip.

In complete darkness I see you,
In obsolete dimness I feel you.
Do you see these woeful skies?
Can you hear these doleful cries?

I can envision your extravagant grace,
Shining from your radiant face.
When I wake up, when I open my sleeping eyes,
I fall apart, and you hear my weeping sighs.


Date: 22nd August 2002
By: Taintlessness

I was reading about the Greek Mythology when I wrote this poem. So you have to know few things:
Aphrodite is the Goddess of Love.
Eros is the son of Aphrodite, he is the blindfolded man who shoots darts into people which make them fall in love with the first person they see next. Like Cupid.

Children of Aphrodite

I feel in awe,
When I look at the sky above.
Because I suddenly know,
That I’m incredibly in love.

I feel my heart is singing with rapture,
I feel my mind is dancing with joy.
I feel your love like a silky texture,
I feel your heart is astounding me with coy.

As if I was struck by Eros’ darts,
I felt the yearning to hold you near.
I felt like love only exists in our hearts,
As if music only existed for our ears.

We are proof that love can exist,
From just a few glances.
That no one can deny or resist,
Falling in love and be lost in its senses.

Love is the sensation,
The everlasting force.
Love is the creation,
That feeds our heart and souls.


Date: 21st August 2002
By: Taintlessness

This is one of the latest poems I've written. I have 3 other poems as well that I will post soon.

With No Words

Hearts can speak without tongues,
Minds can talk with no dialect.
Eyes can chant beautiful songs,
Souls can converse yet remain silent.

Hands can touch from afar,
Mouths can taste the distant waterfalls.
Noses can smell the sigh of a star,
Ears can listen to the soundless calls

To love with all your senses,
Yet it makes no sense at all.
This, that knows no boundaries or fences,
Got to you, and in love, it made you fall.

So strange yet so true,
Believing in something against your virtue.
Instead of finding love, love found you.

When you least expect it, love crept in,
With no words, still the mayhem had to begin.
With no words the magic has begun.
With no words you found the perfect one.


Date: 21st August 2002
By: Taintlessness

In my opinion, any word that is written with feelings, is a poem. That is the definition of a poem, for me.

Saying I Love You

I feel the walls are closing in,
As my tears are falling down.
I feel emptiness from within,
As if my heart is wearing a frown.

I couldn't last another day, without you.
I'm falling apart.
I don't have the will to go on, lacking you.
It will break my heart.

Endless nights, without your smile,
Everlasting days, without your face.
How will I get through this pile,
Without feeling your heart as we embrace.

Do you hear my voice across the lands,
Echoing my tone through this rhyme.
Beyond frequencies and their bands,
Saying I love you until the end of time.


Date: 14th August 2002
By: Taintlessness

Through Your Eyes

When would the moment come,
When I’ll hold you in my arms.
Caress your skin under the glorious sun,
Cast upon you my hex and charms.

Run my fingers through you hair,
Touch your crimson colored cheeks.
Show you my love and always be there,
Through the lows and through the peaks.

Kiss away your salty tears,
Hold you under a sky full of stars.
Blow away your pain and fears,
And cast them off onto mars.

Gaze upon your exquisite eyes,
So deep, I become mystified.
And suddenly I seem to realize,
Everything through your eyes is beautified.

Date: 13th August 2002
By: Taintlessness

Inspiration

I want my heart to beat again,
I feel so lost when you are away.
I feel a gush and I feel this pain,
I feel lost, I ran out of things to say.

Come back to me,
Run into the arms you love.
Let me hold you and make you see,
How beautiful life is, and beauty in love.

Do you feel my heart crying out,
Do you feel this mayhem, which you caused.
Do you feel my mind which is in a rout,
Feel my heart ceased to beat, my heart you paused.

I imagine holding your image so tight,
For such an illusion I’d try and strive.
Cause, You don’t only motivate me to write,
You are my inspiration to stay alive.

Date: 13th August 2002
By: Taintlessness

Dear beloved,
I have never met someone like you before, nor have I felt anything that resembles what I feel for you now. Since I’ve known you, you’ve given me a new profound meaning for love, and since then you’ve made me feel things that I only found in Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet.

Nothing could describe the happiness that overwhelms me, nothing can get me down. Sometimes I truly become convinced that this is merely a dream, and that in a blink of an eye, I’d wake up and lose you. So, I pinch myself and scream out of joy, this is not a dream.

Not only do I count the hours until we meet, I count the minutes and seconds and somehow the moments, too. Wishing that by some miracle, the clock will increase its pace, that the hour would become much shorter.

You make me want to excel in everything that I do, and you make me want to do my best to make you proud of me. Because as if from now, you define me, and I define you.

Yours Taintlessness

Love is truly a miracle. You don't know how you attained it, and you don't know what it is. You can just feel it. A feeling that is out of this world. A feeling that makes your whole body tremble at its powers. A feeling so strong, that with it, you feel you can rule the world. A feeling you can no more go on without. A feeling that can make you the happiest person ever.

Love is the unimaginable force which can take away your sanity. Love is the beautifier of all times. Love is the answers to all of your dreams. Love is the ultimate dream.

I also wrote this:

Love, What are you?

Love, O, merciful tyrant,
O, blessed sin.
Love, O, Screaming silent,
O, blinding vision.

Madness mixed with sanity,
Chaos blended with serenity.
What are you? An entity?
Which you can fit inside a tinny heart,
Yet, you are larger than infinity.

If I don’t know what is love,
How can I feel it?
If no one can define love,
Why do they swear they’ve seen it?

Though it is day,
I know the night exist.
When there is no rain, I pray,
And clouds would tear, unable to resist.

Between heaven and hell,
We pray for God to be merciful.

O, Love, what are you?
You are in my heart, yet I don’t know,
How to define you.


Date: 2nd August 2002
By: Taintlessness

I wrote this :

The Story of a Girl

This is the story of a girl,
With a heart that is made of glass.
With a brown hair that has a curl,
People don't recognize her as they pass.

Innocent and sweet, in love, she fell,
But it was, sadly, with the wrong one.
Since then she’d been living in a hell,
She had to go, she had to run.

But,

He lured her in with his maturity,
He locked her inside a room.
He took away her purity,
He threw her out, like an old broom.

She was torn apart,
How could this happen to her?
She lost her heart,
What on earth was left for her?

She lost all that is innocent,
All that is sweet.
She lost all that is brilliant,
All that is neat.

All that is left,
Are hopes and dreams.
All that she felt,
Are streams of gleams.

Love is not flawless,
Life is not fair.
She lost her senses,
She gasps for air.

But,

This misery has to end,
She has to get up on her feet.
She has to stop this ascend,
Among the best she shall find a seat.

For she is amazingly great,
Her heart is brilliantly made.
Time will bring justice to her fate,
And all her misery will begin to fade.


Date: 1st August 2002
By: Taintlessness