Taintlessness' Journal

2007-10-15T23:52:00.001-07:00

Click here to go to the new homepage of Taintlessness: Taintlessness

2002-12-26T10:19:00.000-08:00

Testing if this is working or still stuck.

2002-12-25T09:42:00.000-08:00

Check this out: www.taintlessness.com

I just watched the James Bond movie, Die Another Day. It was ok, not like the other bond's movies though, for a change. Not a big change, though.

Sometimes in life, you feel alone. Completly alone. Like there is no one else in the world. And if there are, you are not aware of them. You even ignor sometimes the company of the sun by day, and the moon at night. Even the stars seem distant and far. Not like spectators to what you do, but as people who have turned their backs to you. Sometimes you only feel that you are fulfilling the space you are in, nothing more, but maybe even less. Sometimes you can't hear your own words that are going inside your head, you've shut the whole world outside, including yourself. So you've become totally alone. So you lie there on your bed, while depression creeps slowly inside, and starts eating at you. On the brinks of madness, it is true, as there is a thin line between love and hate, there is an even thinner line between sanity and insanity. You have to keep reminding yourself that things will change, that you couldn't possibly live alone all your life. There ought to be someone out of the six billion people on the face of this earth, that will give you a bit of their time. Invite you into their life and possibly be a part of it, someday.

Resurrection

Resurrected, at last,
Rising from the tombs of the past.
Reborn, to stir up the long forgotten,
Revived to haunt the secrets within.

Think about all that you ever did,
Think about the words that you have said.
Torment is near and so is anarchy,
Turning your wisdom into insanity.

Await the innovation that is coming ahead,
Attain the reality that it will embed.
Assure yourself of the cruel pain,
Amongst the joy of being utterly sane.

Days will drag on and on,
Demons will whisper until dawn.
Dreadful incidents will repetitively occur,
Drenching your body and your vision will blur.

Date: 19th December 2002
By: Taintlessness

2002-12-17T12:05:00.000-08:00

I know I haven't updated the blog for awhile, but it's only because I've been busy with work and the new domain and all. So you must excuse me.

Ok, now that I'm forgiven...How is everyone? I hope that everyone is fine.

Everywhere you go nowadays, it looks very weird, all the shops are decorated with Christmas lights and trees and stuff, while in Eid or Ittihad day, there were none. Ironic.

Prognosis

This is my life that you presaged,
The pain and anguish you had signified.
But I thought it was just an imprudent forecast,
But it was true, and I was diminished with a blast.

Clueless as to how you achieve,
To know beforehand the aching grieve.
How you predict each tormenting throb,
So painful that I feel my heart will stop.

Have I been cursed by your evil eye?
That changed the mirth into a cry.
You stole my marrow and I was petrified,
You added sorrow and left me mystified.

Have you bewitched me to loose my helm?
And be the ill-fated hero in this tragic film.
So that I live like the dead, but at the utmost fear,
That you’ll say a word, and death would be near.

Date: 18th December 2002
By: Taintlessness

2002-12-12T15:11:00.000-08:00

2002-12-11T04:46:00.000-08:00

The previous picture and this one, were taken somewhere on the way to Al Sele3, the border of Saudi Arabia, but it's not on the main road, I made a wrong turn somewhere, and I was shocked. This mosque looks very weird. Don't you think?

I think that this belongs to H.H. Shaikh Hamad bin Hamdan, you know the Rainbow logo.

Here is a poem I've just written:

'My Heart'

Why are you beating this hard?
I asked my heart.
For you’re just a lump in a silly Bard,
You think your luck will change for such a rant?

Why are you beating so fast?
I asked my heart.
Have you forgotten the past?
The cruel pain that ripped you apart.

Think of the gloomy hours,
That you thumped alone.
Think of the shrivels and cowers,
Rapt between your cry and your moan.

Caged in bones, yet you’re free in mind,
Completely alone yet with others you bind.
Filled with blood, yet you’re not revived,
Shamed with dirt, yet you have your pride.

Think of the nights, dark and gray,
Think of your dreams, victim and prey.
And one day you’ll turn to stone or clay,
And the moment will come when I will die, one day.

Date: 11th December 2002
By: Taintlessness

2002-12-08T23:22:00.000-08:00

Can you believe that this shot I took myself here in the UAE. We have a pyramid in the country and I didn't even know about it.

2002-12-05T23:32:00.000-08:00

This is the rest of Chapter four:

He decided to take just a quick look at the louvre Museum. He promised himself, that he will sustain himself from going inside today, just a sneak peek at the glassy pyramid of the Museé de louvre.

There were few metros that were scattered around the museum, but he had chosen Louvre-Ravioli Metro station, he liked the name of it. When the metro train finally arrived at that station, Sager was just amazed. The platforms of the metro were different from the few stations he’d seen so far. They looked like a part of a museum- the louvre. It had few stands with historical pieces behind glassed panel to keep the spectators from touching the pieces. Plus the lighting of that station was so relaxing and calm, Sager almost felt like he was really inside the museum, already.

He started looking at the pieces on this side of the platform. Very slowly, he was looking closely at what it seemed to be a very old vase. Probably from the old Roman Empire times which was very much a fascination for Sager. He always believed that if he’d been born in that era, he would’ve invented something. All the good inventions had already been invented just because they were on earth first.

He’d always paid attention to details in anything that would come in front of him. Sager had a strong belief that paying attention to details would make you understand better the big picture. That was why he spent a whole minute on each piece on that platform. After he was done with all the pieces on his side, he decided to go to the other side to check the pieces over there. So he had to walk through the hallways of the station, following the signs until he reached the other platform, and it was very crowded. That was when the metro train on this side came along, and the whole mass of people got on that train, after a whole bunch of people got off it. The people who got off the train hurriedly walked off the platforms headed for the street.

So there he was, Sager Najem, the tourist, totally alone on that platform. Who would’ve guessed that you could find something as rare as a black rose, thousands of miles away from the place, which you call home. Destiny will always act in a enigmatic unpredictable way.

Awaite the next part, soon.

2002-12-05T15:49:00.000-08:00

Eid Mubarak to everyone, hope you have a wonderful Holiday. Treat yourself to seeing Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.

2002-12-01T14:18:00.000-08:00

Finally I've written a poem. Let's see if I still have it in me:

The Puzzle of Life

If you search through my memory,
You’ll witness the misery,
You will enjoy the symphony,
You will sure see,
The chaotic harmony,
That led you to me.

So as you have seen,
My shattered dreams,
Turned out to be,
More than it seem.
For in the end,
We came along,
And we turned out to be,
More than just a team.

You go on with your own pace
And Life pulls you in,
And draws on your face,
So you’d cry with a grin,
Or dance with a frown,
Whether you’re up or down.

Life is a mystery,
My aching melancholy,
Turned out to be,
The thing that led you to me.

Date: 1st December 2002
By: Taintlessness

2002-11-28T16:02:00.000-08:00

For a change this is part of another book I'm trying to write, titled 'The world from my point of view' :

I think people don’t trust any judgment by a person when it comes to something he does, or something he has. For example, a person’s look or voice, and that is because of very reasonable reasons. That is a person always looks at himself through a mirror, which reflects the right side on the left and vice versa, so if he judges his look it would be unreal, because people see him in a different way. About the voice judging, it would be wrong too because a person can hear his voice through his ears, like other people, and through an unseen canals between his mouth and ears from the inside. And from that people lost their trust in the judgment of a person to anything he has or does, like his writing, singing…

---------

It’s so amazing how different guys and girls are, for example, in school’s classrooms the most popular person in a guy’s class would be the meanest, toughest, laziest, the most irresponsible guy of the whole class and he has to be a big troublemaker otherwise he won’t qualify. On the other hand, in a girl’s classroom, the qualifications that would make the most popular girl are being beautiful, smart and funny. So you see how things contrast between guys and girls.

So what do you think.

2002-11-26T08:12:00.000-08:00

Ok, here is, as promised, Chapter four. I'm much better now, thank god, thanks for all your good words. Hope you like this chapter, though it's short.

Chapter Four

Getting Acquainted

Sager woke up, with a weird sense of verve that usually did not come in the morning. For a few seconds he thought it was all just a dream, was he really in Paris? Of course he was, how silly of him to doubt that. He was refreshed and he was ecstatic, and those feelings doubled when he opened the veranda and the cool air caressed his face and his eyes caught the beautiful dawn with the Eiffel tower in the horizon. What a beautiful day it would be.

He was determined today to figure out how to use the Metro and further explore the magnificent city. So he got dressed in a very casual clothing, jeans, t-shirt and a sweater. He also took with him a guidebook that he bought a couple of weeks ago, and off he went.

He was not in a rush, he walked slowly and he was consulting the guidebook, reading the page that explained how to use the Metro. He learned that he could buy ten tickets for a very cheap price if he would ask for the carnet ticket. And so he did. With the tickets in his hands, he consulted the guidebook again. Where shall he go today?

Figuring out how the map worked would be a piece of cake for Sager, because he had used the underground system in London when he went there a few years ago, and luckily the Metro of Paris was no different. But, still, where to go? He was anxious to see everything all at once, but that was certainly impossible.

He felt like going to the movies, yes that was a good idea. He’d read in the guidebook that the biggest cinema theater was La Rex. After looking at the map for a few seconds, he had set his path that would lead him to the nearest station to the theater. So, his journey had begun.

He had to change the metro train once to reach his destination. The exit of the station led right to the cinema theater, but to his shock, the titles of the movies were all in French. So he went directly to the person working at the theater entrance and asked him.

‘Bonjour,’ Sager greeted.
‘Bonjour.’ The usher answered.
‘Vous parlez anglay?’ He asked the usher right away.
‘Yes, can I help you?’ He spoke in clear English, yet with the infamous French accent.
‘Are those movies in English or in French?’
‘They are all in French Sir.’
‘Oh,’ Sager said in dismay, ‘OK. Do you know where can I find a cinema theater that would show the movie in the original language?’ Sager inquired.
‘You could try the cinemas on the Champs, Sir.’ The usher answered him.
‘Thank you, Merci.’ So, he left La Rex.

He decided to walk a little bit instead of taking the Metro again, straight to the Champs. Sager walked and walked and walked, until he could walk no more. He thought, at this rate he would loose a lot of kilograms in no time. He had walked for two hours; he had seen a lot of monuments that he’d seen in the guidebook, such as, George Pompidou, and the very famous from Victor Hugo’s novel, Notre Dame church. Finally he took the metro and decided to go to the Champs. He consulted the map in the guidebook one more time, and he continued his journey.

2002-11-18T00:06:00.000-08:00

Yes, I know that I have not been around lately. I also know how late this update is, Sorry, I had no time for anything. You know how everything in Ramadhan is different, things you used to do almost everyday, you hardly ever do them when Ramadhan is here. Weird huh?

Anyway, I'm here now, aren't I? So, where did we leave things, yes, Chapter three, it will be in the end of this post. With an addition that was not posted on Banoota's Chatbox or on e3ashig's forum. Chapter 4 inshallah will be written as soon as I have time. But it is underway.

Today I came back early from work, sick-leave. Very weird thing happening to me. I have a sour throat, I cough, my nose is running, head-ache, pimple on my neck, and other things all happening at once. In return I only got today off, weird world. I feel so fatigue and weak, and I was given a whole cabnet of medications, but I will inshallah continue my Fasting. But I better go off to bed, so here is the chapter, and await chapter four soon.

Here is Chapter Three.

Chapter Three

Première Expedition

He walked into flat number 1404. It wasn’t so bad, in fact, it was good. He thought he would get a little room, but it was more than just a room. It had a living room, a kitchen, the bedroom, and very oddly, two bathrooms. One was just a toilet, and the other one was just a shower. Why didn’t they make it just one? He was clueless.

It also had a balcony; so he opened the door of the balcony and stepped outside. What a great view. Clearly he could see the Eiffel Tower in the distant, oh and what was that on that far hill over there? Saint Mantomeret, as he’d read in some book. It is the highest point in Paris; indeed it was, where you could see the whole of the city from there.

Sager said to himself again, ‘I am in Paris.’ It still seemed like a dream to him.

He took a quick shower and he went out to explore the city. He asked the receptionist about the whereabouts of the nearest metro station, and though she spoke little English, he understood her and off he went.

He followed the directions he was given, and, eventually, he got there. The station was about seven minutes away on foot. On the way he continued to observe his surrounding environment. How lovely it all seemed. He was in love with the city already.

He reached the metro station, which was called La Défense. He discovered that this station (Gare in French) was one of the largest in Paris. It had the start of line one for the Metro System, RER A, a very big bus station and a train station as well. It was basically a key point in the transportation system of the city; in other words, he shouldn’t worry about transportation anymore.

He was told that the best way to get around in Paris was by using the Metro. The taxis were too expensive; the bus makes too many stops. Plus taxis and buses get stuck in traffic jams, which was very common in Paris. The RER was better for destinations outside of the city. The metro was fast, its network covered the whole city and it was cheap, hence, it was the best. Learning how to use the metro however was a little confusing at the beginning, but after few minutes it all started to make sense. It was as easy as pie.

Nevertheless, he did not want to start using the metro yet. Instead, he wanted to explore the neighborhood on foot. Check what interesting things were near by. So he abandoned the station and took the escalator that would take him outside. Wow, directly he was in front of that famous building: La Défense Grand Arche. It was huge, to the extinct that you could fit the whole of Notre Dame Church inside it. It was an extremely fascinating fact he had read.

He was standing in front of the building, and it faced this big pedestrians’ spot. The spot was in the center of other very tall buildings. What a great place, people were sitting on wooden benches, children playing around, tourists taking pictures and shooting with their video cameras. Sager wished he brought his own cameras. Never mind, though, surely he would come again, soon. What was that huge building on his right, was that a shopping mall? Yes it was. He directly headed to check the mall out.

It was a three-leveled mall, such a grand place. He got tired of walking really quickly; back at home he hardly ever walked anywhere. The car was always available. There was no reason to walk, and even if there was, it would be too hot to actually do it. So, he wanted to rest a little bit, but he didn’t. He wanted to make the best out of his day; he wanted to see more of the city. So he left the mall to further delve into his neighborhood.

He walked and walked and walked; yet he was nowhere near anything interesting. There were buildings and more buildings everywhere, wherever he walked. He got tired of this, not to mention how tired he got. He had been walking for two hours heading to nowhere he would want to be. He didn’t even know how to get back to the metro station.

He sat on one of the wooden benches that were there for a while, before making up his mind: The hell with the neighborhood, I want to go to the Champs-Elysées. So he stood up on the pavement and wanted to hail a taxi. Whenever he saw a taxi coming, he waved at him, but even though they were empty, the taxis did not stop. After fifteen minutes of failing to stop one he gave up.

What a great luck, getting lost on the first day in Paris. C’est la vie. Indeed, that was life. Wait a minute; there was a bus stop over there. What has he got to loose? He went to it and waited for the bus, and soon enough the bus came. He hopped in, paid the bus driver, and sat down. Where was this bus heading, he had no clue. Certainly he thought, it would end up somewhere better than where he was now. He decided to get down the moment he would see something familiar.

The bus kept stopping at every bus stop, yet Sager still had not seen any familiar sights. Few minutes later, the bus stopped, and everyone got out of the bus. The bus driver waved to him to get off, while speaking very fast in French, that Sager hardly understood anything, but he guessed that this was the last stop for this bus. Why not ask the bus driver where was the Champs-Elysées? So he did, with what little French he knew. The bus driver kept pointing in different directions that Sager was lost already, but he managed to ask him about a Taxi. The bus driver acknowledged his question and asked him to hold on. Then he went back to his driving seat and accelerated ahead.

Moments later, the bus stopped in front of a parking that had three taxi cars waiting there. Yes, a taxi station. He got off the bus, after throwing a lot of Merci’s towards the driver thanking him for such a great much-needed help.

He walked to the taxi, got in and uttered the name of the most famous street in France. The Champs-Elysées.

At last, the sights became recognizable. The taxi’s fair was unreasonably expensive compared to taxi’s back home.

A wide street, it was, with cafés more than you could count. Not to mention cinema theaters, designer stores, a few banks and a number of embassies. What a unique combination that you hardly ever see anywhere else. The infamous Champs-Elysées was amazing but the great thing didn’t come from those things that occupied that famous street, instead the things that are making the Champs what it is, are the people that are marching on both sides of it.

The place is crowded all the time, Sager found this extraordinary. The street was filled with cars and the pavements were swarmed with people, it was amazing. He walked and walked until he got tired. So, he sat down at the Hagen Dazes place. After ordering a crème and cookies two scopes ice crème. He just loved it, but he had to go back to the hotel early, after all it was his first time on the streets. He surely didn’t want to be lost in Paris at night.

He was certainly not disappointed with his first day. Tomorrow is a new day, with new potential places to visit and new monuments to be discovered and explored.

Alone in the dark, Sager was lying on the bed. His thoughts were whipping the insides of his skull. How ironic it was, to be in the city of romance, totally, alone.

2002-11-02T08:59:00.000-08:00

I'm extremely busy, finally started work, and it's no fun at all. Still things are going great sport-wise. Roma won Real Madrid, Al Ain won Al Wahda in a great match. What more could I ask for.

Here is the next chapter of the story:

Chapter Two

Getting To Paris

On the aircraft he busied himself with reading a book he brought with him. The Summons by John Grisham. He really liked this author’s novels to the point that he’d read all of his novels. So he couldn’t wait to have the time to read this one; his latest book. Still, after one hour he closed the book, put it back in his suitcase and tried to sleep. After all he hadn’t slept a wink out of excitement and he had woken up very early.

Sager dozed off for about two hours before he woke up to the screaming sound of a little child three rows behind him, and even a louder noise coming from the angry frustrated mother trying to hush her kid. He was still exhausted, but the disturbance was too much for any chance of resting. He put the headset on and tried to follow the movie that was on; by doing so another hour had passed. When he took the head set off his ears, it was all quiet again, so he shut his eyes and went to sleep, hoping the kid and his mother would keep their peace treaty.

The hostess woke him up for breakfast, which wasn’t good but he ate it anyway out of hunger. By then the pilot announced that he had started descending to Paris. Forty-five minutes later the aircraft touched down on the runway.

He arrived in Paris via Charles de Gaulle Airport, after that exhausting seven hours flight. He was happy to be on the ground. Though his major was in the Aviation engineering field, he never liked flying. In fact, he had a small fear of flying. The funny part is, this minor phobia had only started after he started his studies about aircrafts and how they work. Knowing how everything works on the aircraft and how many things that could just go wrong during flight was frightening to him, so he was always a little jumpy while flying, specially during take offs and landings.

But come to think of it, his name: Sager, means Falcon, and his surname: Najem, means Star. So, maybe after all he was meant to be in the Aviation field, it seems like it was written all over his destiny to belong there.

But nevertheless, he was out of the aircraft, and he was walking out of the terminal towards the customs. Then after going through the customs, he followed the mass of people towards the baggage conveyor belts awaiting his luggage. At last the bags arrive and he wheeled his bags outside, looking for a sign with his name on it. There it was, ‘Sager Najem FAC’. FAC what was that, he thought. Oh yes, how stupid of him, it stood for Future Aeronautics Company. He went straight to the guy with the sign, greeted him, Bonjour, and off they went outside the airport. He felt so enchanted hearing the people conversing in French all around him.

Being used to the hot weather of the middle east, Sager felt really cold as soon as he stepped outside the airport. He was amazed to see some ladies parading around in skirts. Despite that, it was cold, the temperature was about 12 degrees Celsius and the air was very dry. Not the kind of humidity he was used to.

In a new luxurious black E240 Mercedes Benz, he was sped off to FAC’s headquarter, for a welcoming meeting, he assumed. He wanted to try some of the words he knew in French, but the driver spoke a very fluent English, so he delayed his trials for some other occasion.

From his place in the backseat of the car, Sager Najem watched attentively the country, the city, the streets, the signs, the advertisement, the people and the dogs. How beautiful everything looked, how amazing Paris appeared to be. The dream had finally become reality, he felt so blessed to be there. He observed every little detail that came within his range of sight. Life, then, couldn’t be any better, he thought.

He tried really hard to spot anything that would seem familiar. Something he had seen in a movie or a magazine, but he saw none yet. Maybe a word in an advertisement that he would know or recognize. Or a word that seemed exactly like it’s English equivalent, but also, none yet, except for Aéroport, which meant airport, but of course it was pronounced in a different way. Also the word Parc came by, which meant park as in a garden. Exact spelling of Information was seen a couple of times in the airport, which had the exact spelling, yet again a different pronunciation. Finally he knew why he hadn’t seen any familiar sights yet, it was because the headquarter of FAC was at the South of Paris.

Mr. Patrick Mingen from HR, Human Resources, met him at the headquarter. He welcomed Sager and led him to the conference room. Mr. Mingen offered him some coffee, though Sager didn’t drink coffee, he thought it will be harsh of him to say no. Coffee was brought up, and despite the fact that Sager poured two bags of sugar in the cup it was still bitter as hell. So, he kind of pretended to be sipping the coffee.

Mr. Mingen gave a little presentation about his company. It was so boring that Sager almost dozed off, but nevertheless he kept a straight and an interested look on his face during the presentation. When the presentation was over, they went to have lunch at the company’s restaurant.

The lunch was a two course fancy meal, which he liked none of them. He mainly concentrated on the French bread, because in his opinion it was the only edible thing on the table. By that, the welcoming venue had ended. He gave Mr. Patrick Mingen his ticket so the company could confirm his return flight for him. The same Mercedes had been waiting for him to take him to the place where he will be staying. Sager had no idea what kind of accommodation was awaiting him.

On the way to the hotel, some scenes became familiar, finally. And yes, at last, in the far distant on his right he could see the Eiffel Tower. So his accommodation was inside Paris, that was a relief. But the tower still seemed far away; he must be on the outskirts of Paris. Oh there is that building over there, the one that was shown in the movie ‘The Bourne Identity’. What was it called? Oh yes, La Défense Grand Arche.

Every time the car slowed down, he tried to check the buildings around; trying to guess which one was his destination. Finally, the car stopped. Pierre & Vacances Hotel.

It was Saturday, the 21st of September 2002, his first day in Paris.

2002-10-26T15:30:00.000-07:00

AC Milan lost his first match in the Serie A!!! Hopefully Roma would win tomorrow against his rivals Lazio.

Anyway, I'll give you a sneak preview of the story I'm writing. This is the introduction to the story, which I don't have a title for it yet.

Chapter One

Raison d'être

Paris; the city of lights. The city of beauty and marvelous streets. Where cafés are scattered all over it, where people have fun just by walking up and down the Champs-Elysées. The city where kindness still exists between people, where good manners are practiced all the time.

The capital of France, the mixture of the old and the new in a magnificent harmony. The city reeks of arts and artists, for Paris has been and still is the inspiration of everyone who ever set a foot in it. The dream of many others who want to indulge themselves into its atmosphere and make the city their own muse.

The city where you can gaze into La Gioconda’s eyes, the Florentine noblewoman whose portrait was painted by none other than the infamous genius Leonardo da Vinci. The portrayal is widely known as the Mona Lisa with its captivating smile that has stirred commentary since 1504.

Paris the city of love; where you can almost feel it in the air. Wherever you may look you will find couples holding hands, hugging and kissing. Not to mention that the language of romance is floating so soothingly all around, for French is truly the language of passion. The language that has attracted so many people to it, not only because it is the language of love, but also because it opens the doors to the brilliant and rich French literature.

Though he had already read Les Miserable in English, he knew that when you translate anything something gets lost in between the two works. He wanted to read Victor Hugo’s novels, the way Mr. Hugo wrote them. Still that was not why Sager Najem came to Paris: he did not come for a French course. Instead he came for a one-month business visit to Future Aeronautics Company.

He had been chosen by his company, Falcon Wings Corporation, to represent them abroad, not only because he was their best man for this job, but also because he was completely available. He was free, totally unattached to any commitments whatsoever. No wife, no girlfriend and no children. So the executives thought he’d be the right guy for such a task.

And so he left to Paris.

That's all for now, what do you think of it?

Pictures:

http://www.geocities.com/taintlessness/addiction.jpg.jpg The addiction to the series has begun. My little sister watching a kuwaiti series.

2002-10-25T15:57:00.000-07:00

Ten days left to Ramadan, and as I was walking on the Wave Breaker in Abu Dhabi, the loud Music from Hilotania Beach, and their beach party with their light and the sight of people dancing is disgraceful. It is such a shame to allow this mockery, while we are living in an Islamic country. Moreover it was Friday. A sacred Day.

Here is the picture, check it out, though it's not so clear: Hiltonia Beach as viewed from the Wave Breaker.

(If the picture doesn't show, like the ones in the previous entry, copy and paste the address in a new window and it will open. It has something to do with the Blogger and Geocities not working together.)

More pictures:
http://www.geocities.com/taintlessness/Friday.jpg Friday Prayer.
http://www.geocities.com/taintlessness/Favorite.jpg My Favorite section of the newspaper.

2002-10-23T16:33:00.000-07:00

Back, finally. Thank god. I really missed being home, truly there is no place like it. I am glad I'm here.

You can expect pictures, finally I've got a digital Camera. But I don't know, for some reason, they don't show in this page.

Here is the poem I promised you:

'The Reason of Living'

I lie awake thinking of you,
How did destiny take me away?
From my love that is deep and true,
For without my sun, there is no day.

Being in the romantic places of all,
Yet it seems like a haunted space.
I cry for heaven, but does it hear my call,
All I see is a raven mocking me without grace.

Wrap your arms around me again,
Make me feel safe like before.
Calm me down before I go insane,
For, I am shaken and broken at my core.

Heal my heart, be the savior of my soul,
Bring the light, for it is the darkest night of all.
Tell me that things will be fine,
Tell me that you are only mine.

Wipe my tears and choke my fears,
Convince me that our love adheres.
Embrace me tightly and hold me close,
Yet as gently as you’re holding a rose.

Tell me you love me,
I will tell it over and over more.
Show me that you love me,
I will show you the reason I’m living for.

By: Taintlessness
Date: 16th October þ2002þ
Paris, France.

That is all for now......more updates soon. Be sure to check them out.

Pictures:

Full Moon: I love full moons.
Jay Leno: Isn't he just witty and funny?
Football Match: Inter Milan Vs Leon = 3-3
My Friend got a new car: A8 Audi.

2002-10-17T08:55:00.000-07:00

I wrote this right now really quickly. What do you think?

When you look at this void that is inside,
You wonder why in love people abide.
Why they uncloak their emotions to the tide,
When they should run, take cover and hide.

For pleasing times seem to come in short doses,
Like a vast field with dead trees, and few roses.
And when your loved one is away, oh what pain it causes,
It darkens your days and bleaks your nights; so is it worth this?

The answer is:
Every single moment, of love, that is.

By:Taintlessness
Date: 17th October 2002

2002-10-17T08:19:00.000-07:00

Finally the time for me to leave Paris has come. So did the inspiration to write a poem. Yes, finally Ive written a poem, but on my laptop, so I will post it when I go back to the UAE. So I hope you will like it.

Tomorrow I am flying out of here, so I will be there after midnight. So I guess my next post will be from there inshallah.

See you from there.

2002-10-09T07:48:00.000-07:00

It was amazing. The best show thing I have ever seen by far. If I had more time here I would have love to see it again, but I will be quite occupied these last few days. I am finally sure that my flight is on the 18th. Finally.

About my new writing, its a story aboyt a guy in Paris; so far Im in the third page.

Thats all for now.

2002-10-08T07:18:00.000-07:00

I have ten days left in paris. I have already made the plan of how I will spend those days in here. Sorry I have not updated this in awhile; but I hardly had time for the net, plus this cafe closes on the weekends.

But I have been writing, and soon inshallah you will see it posted in here. Not a Poem, weirdly i was not inspired to write a poem, but i was inspired to write something else. How Odd.

Tonight I am going to the Opera, The Swan Lake. Finally booked and I am so in the mood for it. I am even going to dress up for the night. It feels great.

Thats all for now; I will tell you how it went when I log on next.

Thats all for now. Pardon moi.

2002-09-30T08:36:00.000-07:00

Today is my tenth day in the city, the city of light, Paris. The weather is cold, kind like the winter in the UAE, or EAU as the french call it. Yesterday my friend and I went to Euro Diseny, it is absolutly amazing. We spent 5 hours there but we only saw 3 shows. We will go again maybe next weekend. Am trying to get two tickets for me and my friend to go and see The Swan Lake at the Opera de Bastille. I was told it is very hard to find a ticket though the theater could contain more than 2000 people in it.

I havent really written anything down yet, but i do have few ideas of things I want to write about. Not necesserly poems. No time though. I will get to them though, eventually.
As it is now, I think I will be coming back on the 19th of October.
I am very happy that Roma has finally won its first match in the Italian Serie A, even happier that Totti scored a hat trick. Woohoo.
I will try to keep you guys updated as much as possible.
Please do not mind my typing, i still cant adjust to this keyboard.

I think the french language is sounding more understandable as each day is going by, but still whenever anyone is directing their speech to me, i directly stop them with my much practiced 'Vous Parlez Anglae?'

Thats all for now.

2002-09-24T07:10:00.000-07:00

I am finally in France. Finally had time to get to an internet booth. The keyboard is hard to figure out, the letters are in different places, plus I cant find certain chrachters like the apostrophe so excuse me.

Im doing fine, in those few days Ive been everywhere, yet nothing would be as satisfying as going back. Im not home sick, I just miss the people that I love, which Im away from.

I cant make this any longer, sorry. I have to go now.

2002-09-20T12:05:00.000-07:00

I'm leaving in few hours to Paris. Finally the dreadful moment has arrived. Dreadful because I'm leaving the people I love and care about. It is nevertheless something I've dreamed of doing a long time ago. Being in Paris, walking those streets, wandering for hours inside the museums, being in one of the most romantic places on earth, speaking the laungage of romance.

I'm glad that my arabic poem was liked by most of you guys, it flatters me and might encourge me to post more later on. I will try my best to upload this journal as much as I can. I might also post pictures I'll take in my hompeage, so make sure to check that out.

I wrote this down on the way to Dubai:

You dug up my sorrows searching for joy,
It tickled you with feathers but stabbed with wooden spears.
I'm not made out of brass or alloy, I'm not a toy,
You have to know, that your happiness have been my tears.

Date: 19th September 2002
By: Taintlessness

It's still unfinished, thus untitled.

This is another poem I've written maybe 5 years ago...but this time it's not in the classical arabic.

æÏÚÊäÇ íÇ Òíä æ áÝíÊ ãÍÈæÈß
ÞáÊ áß Çááå æ áß ÎáÇä æ ÃÕÍÇÈ
æÏÚÊäÇ æ ÃäÊ ÍÇÌÈ ÚäÇ Úíæäß
ãÇ ßÃä ßäÇ Ýí íæã áß ÃÍÈÇÈ
ÑÍáÊ ÚäÇ æ ÃáÝíäÇ ÍíÇÑì ÔæÞß
ÞØÚäÇ ßá ÌÒÁ Ýíå ÍÈ ÊÑì ÇáÍÈ ÞÕÇÈ

Úíæäí íÇ Úíæäí áß ÐÑÝÊ ÏãÚÇÊ
æ ÎÏæÏí íÇ ãæÑÏ ÇáÎÏ ßÇäæÇ áÏãæÚí ÓÈíá
äÝÓí ÕÚÈÊ Úáí æÈÏá ÇáÔåÞÉ ÔåÞÇÊ
Ãåæä ÈåÇ Úä äÝÓí æÑæÍí æÞáÈí ÇáÚáíá

ÌÑÍÊäí æ ÎÐÊ áß ÛíÑí ÍÈíÈ
ÞÊáäí ÕãÊß æÇÎÊíÇÑß æ ÑÖÇß ÈÇáäÕíÈ

íÇ ãä ÚÔÞÊäí ãÑå ÈÍíÇÊß
ÊÑì ãÑß Óã ãÇ ÃØíÞå
íÇ ãä ÞáÊ áí ÃÍÈß ÈÇáæÑæÏ æ ÇáæÚæÏ
ÈÚÏ ãÇ ÎÐÊ ÞáÈí ÕÑÊ áå ØáíÞå

ÞáÈß æÍÈß ÑÇÍæÇ æÎáæäí ÃÓíÑß
æ ÇáÛäì ãÇ åæ Ûäì ãä ÈÚÏ ÝÑÇÞß
æ áÇ ááØÚã ØÚã ãä ÈÚÏ ÑÍíáß
æ áÇ ááæä áæä ãä ÈÚÏ ÏäíÇß

ÃäÊ ãä ÍíÇÊí ÎÐÊ ßá ÔíÁ
æ ãä ÈÚÏ ãÇ ÑÍÊ ÍíÇÊí ãÇ ÊÓæì ÔíÁ

Next post will be hopefully from Paris, Live from the city of love.

2002-09-18T16:56:00.000-07:00

I hesitated a lot before posting this poem in here. This is one of the few arabic poetry attempts that I have tried. So what do you think about it? I've written this a long time ago, 1992 to be exact. I was only 14 years old. Back then I've mostly written in the classical arabic. Don't ask why, I don't even know why. Tell me if this is good, so I can be encouraged to post more of my arabic poetry adventures.

ÏÚæÉ Úáì ÇáÚÔÇÁ

ÕÏÏÊ ÚäåÇ Ýí Êáß ÇááíáÉ ÇáÞãÑÇÁ
ÈÚÈíÑå æ ÇáäÓãÇÊ ÝíåÇ ÔÝÇÁ
ÊäÓíß åã ÇáäåÇÑ æ ÇáÚäÇÁ
æ ÓãÚÊ ãä Èíä ÇáÌÈÇá ÛäÇÁ
ÃÊì ÇáÕæÊ æ ÝÇÞ ÌãÇá ÇáÓãÇÁ
ßáãÇÊå áíÓÊ ãä ßáãÇÊ ÇáÔÚÑÇÁ
ÑÃíÊ ÕÇÍÈÉ ÇáÕæÊ ÔÇÈÉ ÚÐÑÇÁ
ÚäÏãÇ ÑÃÊäí ÕãÊÊ æ ÖÇÚ ÇáÛäÇÁ
ÝØÇáÈÊåÇ ÈãÒíÏ ãä ÇáÚØÇÁ
æ ÏãæÚåÇ ÊäåãÑ Úáì ÇáÈÍíÑÉ ÇáÒÑÞÇÁ
ãÓÍÊ ÇáÏãæÚ æ ÏÚæÊåÇ Úáì ÇáÚÔÇÁ

1992

ÚãÑ ÚÈÏÇááå

2002-09-16T23:00:00.000-07:00

Four days left, I feel like I don't want to leave. But I guess it will be alright, hopefully.

I wrote this because I'm leaving...and it is my 100th poem.

I'll be Gone

'I'll be Gone.'

When your eyes meet the moon,
When your ears seize a tune,
When amusing times ends so soon,
Remember me, because I’ll be gone.

When you feel the tint of a sunset ray,
When it becomes dark at the end of the day,
When you regain hope each time your pray,
Remember me, because I’ll be gone.

When your hair dances with the wind,
When your life goes in a bitter trend,
When you go around and look for a friend,
Remember me, because I’ll be gone.

When your hand plays with the rain,
When you fall in love and feel insane,
When you fall out of love and feel the pain,
Remember me, because I’ll be gone.

When your heart melts as you hear a song,
When something feels right when its wrong,
When you feel everyday like you have grown,
Remember me, because I’ll be gone.

Date: 17th September 2002
By: Taintlessness

2002-09-15T11:12:00.000-07:00

Finally the Italian Serie A has begun. I was waiting for it anxiously. But, alas, my team Roma, has lost. This year I'm also rooting for AC Milan, because the magnificent Rivaldo is playing with them.

I watched the movie Duets starring Gwyenth Paltrow, it's actually not a bad movie. I liked the songs. I once went to a Karioke place, but I didn't sing. I can't stand under the spotlight, with all those people watching me, and sing. I hardly sing in the shower, but I do sing for special people.

This poem I wrote as a reply to one of Zibeeba's poems. I wrote this directly after I've read one of her poems, she is very talented.

Stop Questioning

The blank page is blank no more,
Fury and despair have escaped through the door.
The feelings are touched at last,
You capture them and word them down so fast.
Life is as gentle as a silky cloth,
And love might be blinded with a honeyed scarf.
Hope is not a disease but a vigorous touch,
When you feel sad it gets you out of that hutch.
They do see you when you are hurting,
But they try to help and relief your burden.
They do stop, they will end, there is a sign,
Stop questioning, or life will pass you and you will pine.

Date: 14th of September 2002
By: Taintlessness

By the way, this is my poem number 99, one more and I reach my goal. Would I succeed if I get them published? I wonder.

2002-09-12T11:40:00.000-07:00

Finally my Visa is ready, things are set. All that is left is the departure date to come.

I wrote a poem, I think this one is very special, I don't know why.

'Colors of My Soul'

In a glimpse of your imagination,
Is where I want to be.
Wrapped in commemoration,
As if I’m all that your eyes can see.

You’ve brightened the dome of my sky,
You’ve given a meaning to my time.
The hands of heaven opened my eye,
And dazzled me with the scented thyme.

I pine for a moment with you,
My senses linger for your call.
My heart is melted within you,
Mixed with the colors of my soul.

Date: 12th September 2002
By: Taintlessness

What do you think of it?

2002-09-11T04:15:00.000-07:00

My travel to Paris is going to be pushed back one week. So I'll be flying on the 21st.

I also wrote this poem today after reading a poem written by Dove on Banoota's Chatbox.

'Why?'

Why is the question that should be asked,
Not only when things go really bad.
Instead, we should ask why things are good,
Why are things happening as they should?

Why are we so lucky to feel this way?
Why are we so happy all through the day?
Why do we fall in love?
Why indeed, asked the Dove.

I don’t know why we fall for it,
Why we can’t help but forfeit,
Our souls, our hearts, dreams and hopes,
And our minds get tangled in its ropes.

So could someone answer these cries,
Is love, like everything else,
Starts with Birth, lives then dies?

Date: 11th September 2002
By: Taintlessness

2002-09-10T03:14:00.000-07:00

I haven't played soccer for almost two years, but yesterday I went and I played. Guess with whom? With Dreamer7and Bin_LuMiyeH. I had such a great time. I got exhausted quickly because I didn't do it for a long time, but I really had lots of fun.

I thought I have never met them before, but to my shock, Dreamer7 and myself took an Arabic Course a year ago. So we knew each other, I just didn't know he was Dreamer7. They were both so nice and great to hang around. I think we'll do that more, soon.

I've met yesterday with the Head of Training of Dassault Company, he said that he was uncertain whether the course will start on the 16th or not. So there is might be a change in the schaduel. I might be leaving after all one week later than I was expecting. Today I might know exactly when my departure date will be.

Go and watch Lilo & Stitch, it's really funny and cute. You don't have to take any small kids with you either, you will have fun all by yourself.

2002-09-08T15:13:00.000-07:00

Another project is done, Lammtara and myself did it again. Check it out: "Unnoticed".
What do you think?

Some one told me that my world sounds fascinating because I seem to be indulged in a world of magic and fantasies? Do you think that too? I think I can be realistic. I know I have lots of dreams, but that doesn't mean that I don't know my limits, because I do know my limits. I also know that we are allowed to dream, and there is nothing wrong with dreaming, as long as we know our boundaries.

I think that, so far, I've lived a good life, not so fancy and not so bad either. I know what joy is, and I've also had my share of suffer. I know where I've been in this life, where I stand, and where, with god's help, I want to head. I think everyone should make this point clear about their lives, otherwise, they'd be just like a person who is wandering in the desert and they are not sure how much food they have on them.

A world of magic and fantasies, I'd like to live in one, so why not dream it? Who knows, what dreams may come.

2002-09-05T09:57:00.000-07:00

Go and watch XXX, it's an amazing movie, if action movies is your thing. It is also very funny. It has Vin Deisel and Samuel L. Jackson. For the first time ever the Cinestar biggest hall was almost full. You shouldn't miss it.

I've bought a few books about Paris, and French, that would be helpful when I'm finally there. I've browsed through them quickly, still my mind was made up a long time ago. The first place I'm heading to is the Louvre Museum. I can't wait to reach there and look upon all those great works. Why is it that Paintures only get famous when they are dead? Same goes for great Poets as well. Could it be, that I might someday achieve my dream of being famous, and I wouldn't be alive to celebrate it? I wonder.

2002-09-04T16:45:00.000-07:00

Finally, the project is done. It is Over. This is the project I did with Lammtara. All of you can check this out : "True Love is Yet to Come"

The date is set, I'm leaving on the 14th of this month to Paris.

So tell me what do you think of the project with lammtara? You like?

2002-09-03T02:37:00.000-07:00

I've been busy as ever. Getting ready to finish paper-work to be ready to go to Paris. I didn't think it will be this complicated. Tomorrow I will be sure as to when I will be leaving to France. I wish I had more time to write here, I really miss it. I'll try later, so excuse me. Thank you all.

2002-09-01T01:13:00.000-07:00

First day of the new month. The month which I will be leaving to Paris. It used to be one of my dreams to go there, but suddenly the thought of leaving the ones I love haunts me. The thrill is gone, the excitment has disappeared. Instead feelings of fear and regret cross my mind. I do have to go, nonetheless. So I do have to be in peace with these feelings, fool myself and convince myself that I won't be away for long, only a month and I'll be back.

Although I've lived before in the states for two years and in Oxford, UK for two months, and the fact that I have never felt homesick ever in my whole life, I don't know why these new feelings are coming to me. I really don't know.

I love this song, as well, so much. It's from the movie Moulin Rouge, sang by Nicole Kidman & Ewan McGregor.

COME WHAT MAY
Never knew I could feel like this
Like I’ve never seen the sky before
Want to furnish inside your kiss
Everyday I love you more and more

Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change, winter to spring
But I love you, until the end of time

Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn’t seem such a waste
It all revolves around you

And there’s no mountain too high, no river too wide
Sing out this song and I’ll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather and stars may go by
But I love you ( I love you), until the end (until the end) of time

Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day

Oh come what may
Come what may
I will love you (I will love you)

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place

Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day

2002-08-30T22:25:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went to Dubai and came back on the same night. The road was very crowded, and all I could think of, is something I've seen a long time on a stand-up comedy show. I've also read the same part later on, when that Comedian published his work. So here is what I thought of:

'Have you ever noticed that when you're drivin', anyone goin' slower than you is an idiot? And anyone goin' faster than you is a maniac?
"Will you look at this idiot!" [points right] "Look at him! Just creepin' along!" [swings head left] "Holy Shit!! Look at that maniac go!"
Why, I tell ya, folks, it's a wonder we ever get anywhere at all these days, what with all the idiots and maniacs out there. Because no one ever drives at my speed.
Actually, I don't let people drive at my speed. If I see some guy in the next lane keepin' pace with me, I slow down. I let that stupid get a little bit ahead, so I can keep an eye on him. I like to know who I'm drivin' near. In fact, quite often at a red light I'll ask for personal references. You can never be too careful.'------By George Carlin, from his book Napalm and Silly Putty.

He is so funny, and so true in a crazy way. Because that was all I could think of as I was driving back.

I bought a couple of books from Magrudy's. I've heard so much about this book, so I rushed to get it: The Alchemist, by Paulo Coeliho. I also bought The Clan of the Cave Bear, by Jean M. Auel, which I don't know if you've ever heard about her or her book? I've never read for her, yet. I thought, why not? This book is the first of a series of five books.

I arrived Abu Dhabi around midnight and went straight to bed. I was too exhausted to even think. Or do anything else.

One of my all time favorite bands is Take That. This band split-up few years ago, I don't know if you remember that or not? Gary Barlow was part of this band, also the very famous Robbie Williams and Mark Owen. This is the lyrics for the last song they sang together before spliting up:

HOW DEEP IS YOUR LOVE

I know your eyes in the morning sun
I feel you touch me in the pouring rain
And the moment that you wander far from me
I wanna feel you in my arms again

And you come to me on a summer breeze
Keep me warm in your love
Then you softly leave
And it's me you need to show

How deep is your love?
How deep is your love?
I really meant to learn
Cos we're living in a world of fools
Breaking us down when they
All should let us be.

I believe in you
You know the door to my very soul
You're the light in my deepest, darkest hour
My savior when I fall

And you may not think I care for you
When you know down inside
That I really do

How deep is your love?
How deep is your love?
I really meant to learn
Cos we're living in a world of fools
Breaking us down when they
All should let us be.

I love it. I hope you liked it.

2002-08-30T00:27:00.000-07:00

Yesterday they were playing the movie French Kiss on MBC. Isn't that just a great movie? Meg Rayan and Kevin Klien, amazing chemistry between them, great plot, and extremely funny. Especially when they first met in the airplane, how he distracted her from her fear of flying, it crackes me up every time.

About the movies here in the UAE that are showing in the Cinemas, the best two movies available that you should watch if you already didn't are : Minority Report and The Bourne Identity. They are totally worth your time.

Aren't you sick of that stupid advertisment for coca-cola? You know the one with the four guys who are trying to flirt with the girls. I think it is very offensive. On TV you see the advertisement with the girls covering their hair, in the movies, same advertisement but the girls are wearing shirts and their hair is not covered. Why is that? This is stupid.

I started packing for France, already. I know I still have two weeks left, but I want to get this out of my way. I'm supposed to be there on the 13th of September. For a whole month, until the 15th of October. I think it's going to be useful for my career.

But a whole month from the people you care about and love...such a long time. I hope I can bare it. I really hope I can do that...

2002-08-28T23:56:00.000-07:00

I'm glad my new style is getting more responses, it flatters me and encourages me to write even more. Thank you.

If you want to read about Greek Mythology, try this book : Heroes, Gods and Monsters of Greek Myths, by Bernard Evslin. This book is easy to understand, they even give it to young students in schools. I think you will enjoy it. You can also check this site: http://www.GreekMythology.com.

I'm loving those new ADNOC petrol stations, with their little shops. Specially the new one on Gulf Road, the one with Popeye’s in it. You know why? Because they are open 24 hours, which could really come in handy, since nothing quite opens so late here in Abu Dhabi. Have you checked the one on the highway to Dubai, the one in Samha? It looks like a little Mall from inside, with shops, fast food, even an internet cafe'! Amazing.

For some reason, I can't remember the name of the Indian restaurant that I went to. I think it's called Cavily or something like that, which is very odd for an Indian restaurant. They are often called a name which includes the word 'Palace'. It was a good restaurant though, I recommend it.

I can never get enough of watching 'Big Daddy', starring Adam Sandler. It makes me laugh every time. I surely can't wait to watch Mr. Deeds, I think I will love it too. If you go abroad, or to Al Birami, Oman, try buying the movie 'Little Nicky', also for Sandler, it's an amazing movie, but unfortunately, it's banned from the UAE. In that movie, Adam plays the son of the devil, and he goes to the surface to look for his two brothers. Very funny, seek it.

Go and watch The Bourne Identity, played by Matt Damon. You won't regret it.

I wrote these two poems:

Collision

I didn’t mean this, nor did I intend,
To have these feelings, more than just a friend.
I fell in love; For love, the rules tend to bend.
I didn’t want to fool you anymore or pretend,
Something against my creed, which I won’t defend.
Don’t ask of how this occurred, for I, myself don’t comprehend.
Where, how or why this feeling began to blend,
All I know is that I don’t want this to be our end.
I want us to forever be and our heart will mend.

From this feeling I can no longer hide,
I’m in love, being just a friend, I can’t abide.
A feeling that cannot be separate from you or divide.
Denying my love, made me feel like, to my soul, I lied.
Do you see the grass greener on the other side?
So take your chances with me, let’s go on a life time ride.
Without you, my world will collide.

Date: 28th August 2002
By: Taintlessness

Insane

I have to say,
I’m in love.
As much as the ray,
Is loved by a dove.

I don’t mean to pry,
But again, I didn’t want to lie.
I just want you to know,
That I’m in love with you.

I’m not saying this because I’m full of pain,
Instead from this love, I’m full of vain.
Now, your love is all that I want to attain,
Because if I don’t, I’ll be insane.

Date: 28th August 2002
By: Taintlessness

2002-08-27T20:01:00.000-07:00

The dinner was fine. We went to this new Indian restaurant in Abu Dhabi. Yup, the whole family. I'm glad they didn't tell the waiters that it was my Birthday, I really hate it when everyone else would look at me while they are singing. How are you supposed to look when they sing to you. What do you do? Grin stupidly. I hate it. So I'm glad that didn't happen. Other than that, the day was as normal as ever. Yes, I was right, there were no gifts. Too old for gifts, you think?

Yes, finally. The comments are back and working. So tell me, tell me everything.

I'm so into Greek Mythology, yes, I know I'm weird and I'm proud of it. But even in a subject as complicated as this, I wandered into it as I read. I found something which struck me as funny, that is why I wanted to share this with you: Hades, the Greek God of the underworld and the lord of the dead, is in fact also the god of wealth. Isn't that funny? Just like the old saying, nothing is certain except for death and taxes. That made me laugh, I wonder if it's making you laugh too.

Finally, the project with the very talented lammtara is almost over. Soon, you will see something that I hope you will like, as much as I did. You wouldn't have to wait for a long time any more. Brace yourselves.

Enough, the movie with Jennifer Lopez, is very good. If you have the time, go and watch it. For guys, do not take any women with you to this movie. For girls, bring all your girlfriends and if you are married take your husband and just watch his face instead. Those are just few tips from me on how to get the maximum enjoyment from this movie.

Are you into stand-up comedy as much as I am? I wonder. I love stand-up comedy shows. I've got loads of them in my room. My absoulte favorite stand-up comedy show of all times is...I'm telling you for the last time, by Jerry Seinfeld. Yes, he is the best. His comedy is so simple, yet so true. One of my favorite lines for him, is this:

'I don't understand women, no matter how much I will try, so I've just stopped trying. I can't understand how women can pour hot wax on their legs, then rip the hair by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.'

Isn't that just so funny? I think so.

2002-08-27T00:16:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's true. Today is my Birthday. No, no, don't start singing that, I hate it. Ok, good you settled down.

It's really not a big deal to have your birthday in the sense that nothing changes to you, it's a regular day but with a title. That title is 'Your birthday'. But still, it is special to see who will remember it. It gives you this very warm feeling inside to know someone remembered. But you can't expect everyone to remember your birthday. After all, that day is mostly just special to you, it came with you. The date is engraved in your memory as much as your own name.

I wrote this poem for all the people who remembered:

Happy Birthday

A new day has just shone,
Upon my soul.
A new feeling that I’m not alone,
That I wish upon you all.

Remembering my Birthday,
What a sweet thing to do.
For every other year I just lay,
And no one else knew.

So my thanks go to you,
For when it’s your birthday,
I’ll be here too,
Wishing you a happy birthday.

Date: 27th August 2002
By: Taintlessness

So today my parents and sisters are taking me to eat out, on such an occasion. I don't think I will receive any gifts though. The dinner is my gift, I guess.

The movie Antitrust is good, not great but good. So yes, there is no harm in watching it. But if there are other movies that you are sure that will be better, then by all means go ahead.

What do you do when you miss someone so much. When that person is on your mind all the time. Even when they are with you. And you don't just miss being with them, you miss everything about them. How much you connect with them, how much you can be yourself with them. Feeling like your world revovles around them. You feel helpless without them. You feel so lost. So what do you do?

2002-08-25T19:09:00.000-07:00

I've written yet another poem yesterday, but I will post that later. I missed writing here, blabbering away about what I did and what I felt. Though I haven't done that enough ever. Which struck me as odd, because I love writing, and I love myself, so why wouldn't I not like writing about myself. Maybe I'm afraid to let whoever is reading this to know more about me, afraid that if I let these people know what I think about and do all the time, that they would find me a different person, a person they wouldn't like. Not that I'm horrible or anything. Afraid that I'd seem boring, unworthy of their time to read my simple life. Simple rules I use to go through this complicated life, but they work. I'm still here. Thank god.

So today, I'm opening my heart to all of you.

My sleeping routine have been a mess, and still a mess. I sleep in the early morning, and wake up late in the afternoon. I know I need to fix it, but it keeps me on my edge, it gives me the chance to be totally alone and allows me the time and space to write. My passion. It also gives me time to think and ponder about new ideas about certain stuff.

Sometimes I spend my time watching TV, my favorite channel, is paramount comedy channel. I just love comedy so much. I love comedy sitcoms. My absolute favorite shows are Seinfeld, Everybody Loves Raymond, That 70's Show and The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. They are just hilarious. I also watch other channels, such as the movie channel, or discovery when my mind is up to new information. I am moody when it comes to taste, but not moody in the sense of getting upset or any of such sort. Sometimes I would like certain stuff, sometimes I won't. But there are always few things that I can do no matter what my mood is.

A lot of the time I go online. Banoota's Homepage and her chatbox is the one that I'm mostly at. By the way, her site was reviewed by Zen Channel recently. I also go to e3ashig's homepage a lot. I try to update this journal of mine whenever I have something worthy for the people who read this. Chat with friends if they are available.

Today I've stumbled upon a personal homepage for a really talented guy, Dreamer7. You might've heard about him. He is truly a good writer, I think you won't regret paying his website a visit. It is certainly worth it. Here it is: Dreamer7 Homepage.

Yesterday I've finished the book I was reading for age now. I just never had the time to read as I used to. But I'm done with it. 'The Stone Monkey', by Jeffery Deaver. I highly recommend it for all of you. I will add a review of the book in the next few days onto my homepage. I've started reading 'The Summons' by John Grisham. I like it already.

I don't know about you so far, but I feel good writing, and letting myself go. Opening up. It sounds like being strapped on one of those surgery beds and being opened up by surgeons. Ouch. Nevermind, change of subject.

I don't like to put similies and happy faces, or sad ones, or blushed one or such sort in my journal, or anywhere in fact. You wouldn't see me putting a lot of them there on purpose. I think that words alone could do the job of showing the emotions of the writer. So that is why, you wouldn't see them in here. I believe so much in words and what they can achieve. I believe that words can make a person happy, or sad. Words can express the deepest feelings. Much like an artist, a poet or a writer can paint a picture with his words. Each word representing a brush stroke added to the painting. And the whole piece or paragraph is the painting.

People often underestimate the power of a word. That is why some might say things without thinking clearly before saying them. And words can hurt, oh yes they can. That is why I like to think before I speak, allow time for my response. Saves me from being in a lot of trouble, I can tell you that much.

Anyway, got bored of me yet? No? Ok, I'll just post the poem I promised you all, so here it is:

'Rebirth and Death'

As I was sitting with a friend,
Suddenly you were there.
I didn’t even comprehend,
Why I couldn’t help but stare.

I didn’t even know what I was talking about,
I was lost, but I found myself in your eyes.
I was confused, but you shook off all doubt,
That I was in love, that much I could realize.

You came and you were gone,
As fast as a stormy wind.
Being among the crowd, yet I felt alone,
I was left with feelings that could never hind.

Seeing you was my rebirth,
As for the first time I drew a breath.
You left, my dreams were shattered to earth,
And that moment, my beloved, was my death.

Date: 25th August 2002
By: Taintlessness

You think I should write more, more often? Tell me.

2002-08-24T12:45:00.000-07:00

Fighting For my Dreams

The one with the talent should write,
The one without it should try.
For they will wrong you when you are right,
But you have wings and you should fly.

I cannot sit still,
While they ravish my dream.
For I have a will,
And my dream is closer than it seem.

I will defend my creed,
I will defy the world.
For my dream is all I need,
And I will guard it with my sword.

I will prove the world wrong and let them see,
For I am fighting for my dream until it comes true,
For my dream was and will always be,
To be forever with you.

Date: 23rd August 2002
By: Taintlessness

2002-08-24T12:39:00.000-07:00

In this one I tried to rhyme the last 2 words of the whole poem. This was very difficult. But I managed.

Falling Apart

Looking upon the moonlit oceans,
Hiding feelings, like my heartfelt notions.
Feeling my wounds, my hurting scars,
Losing my dreams and hurtling stars.

All that is left, this aching gush,
Nothing to agitate this breaking hush.
I speak without moving my lip,
I touch the shadows using my fingertip.

In complete darkness I see you,
In obsolete dimness I feel you.
Do you see these woeful skies?
Can you hear these doleful cries?

I can envision your extravagant grace,
Shining from your radiant face.
When I wake up, when I open my sleeping eyes,
I fall apart, and you hear my weeping sighs.

Date: 22nd August 2002
By: Taintlessness

2002-08-24T12:09:00.000-07:00

I was reading about the Greek Mythology when I wrote this poem. So you have to know few things:
Aphrodite is the Goddess of Love.
Eros is the son of Aphrodite, he is the blindfolded man who shoots darts into people which make them fall in love with the first person they see next. Like Cupid.

Children of Aphrodite

I feel in awe,
When I look at the sky above.
Because I suddenly know,
That I’m incredibly in love.

I feel my heart is singing with rapture,
I feel my mind is dancing with joy.
I feel your love like a silky texture,
I feel your heart is astounding me with coy.

As if I was struck by Eros’ darts,
I felt the yearning to hold you near.
I felt like love only exists in our hearts,
As if music only existed for our ears.

We are proof that love can exist,
From just a few glances.
That no one can deny or resist,
Falling in love and be lost in its senses.

Love is the sensation,
The everlasting force.
Love is the creation,
That feeds our heart and souls.

Date: 21st August 2002
By: Taintlessness

2002-08-23T17:49:00.000-07:00

This is one of the latest poems I've written. I have 3 other poems as well that I will post soon.

With No Words

Hearts can speak without tongues,
Minds can talk with no dialect.
Eyes can chant beautiful songs,
Souls can converse yet remain silent.

Hands can touch from afar,
Mouths can taste the distant waterfalls.
Noses can smell the sigh of a star,
Ears can listen to the soundless calls

To love with all your senses,
Yet it makes no sense at all.
This, that knows no boundaries or fences,
Got to you, and in love, it made you fall.

So strange yet so true,
Believing in something against your virtue.
Instead of finding love, love found you.

When you least expect it, love crept in,
With no words, still the mayhem had to begin.
With no words the magic has begun.
With no words you found the perfect one.

Date: 21st August 2002
By: Taintlessness

2002-08-16T15:52:00.000-07:00

In my opinion, any word that is written with feelings, is a poem. That is the definition of a poem, for me.

2002-08-14T05:32:00.000-07:00

Saying I Love You

I feel the walls are closing in,
As my tears are falling down.
I feel emptiness from within,
As if my heart is wearing a frown.

I couldn't last another day, without you.
I'm falling apart.
I don't have the will to go on, lacking you.
It will break my heart.

Endless nights, without your smile,
Everlasting days, without your face.
How will I get through this pile,
Without feeling your heart as we embrace.

Do you hear my voice across the lands,
Echoing my tone through this rhyme.
Beyond frequencies and their bands,
Saying I love you until the end of time.

Date: 14th August 2002
By: Taintlessness

2002-08-13T06:02:00.000-07:00

Through Your Eyes

When would the moment come,
When I’ll hold you in my arms.
Caress your skin under the glorious sun,
Cast upon you my hex and charms.

Run my fingers through you hair,
Touch your crimson colored cheeks.
Show you my love and always be there,
Through the lows and through the peaks.

Kiss away your salty tears,
Hold you under a sky full of stars.
Blow away your pain and fears,
And cast them off onto mars.

Gaze upon your exquisite eyes,
So deep, I become mystified.
And suddenly I seem to realize,
Everything through your eyes is beautified.

Date: 13th August 2002
By: Taintlessness

2002-08-12T18:15:00.000-07:00

Inspiration

I want my heart to beat again,
I feel so lost when you are away.
I feel a gush and I feel this pain,
I feel lost, I ran out of things to say.

Come back to me,
Run into the arms you love.
Let me hold you and make you see,
How beautiful life is, and beauty in love.

Do you feel my heart crying out,
Do you feel this mayhem, which you caused.
Do you feel my mind which is in a rout,
Feel my heart ceased to beat, my heart you paused.

I imagine holding your image so tight,
For such an illusion I’d try and strive.
Cause, You don’t only motivate me to write,
You are my inspiration to stay alive.

Date: 13th August 2002
By: Taintlessness

2002-08-08T09:15:00.000-07:00

Dear beloved,
I have never met someone like you before, nor have I felt anything that resembles what I feel for you now. Since I’ve known you, you’ve given me a new profound meaning for love, and since then you’ve made me feel things that I only found in Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet.

Nothing could describe the happiness that overwhelms me, nothing can get me down. Sometimes I truly become convinced that this is merely a dream, and that in a blink of an eye, I’d wake up and lose you. So, I pinch myself and scream out of joy, this is not a dream.

Not only do I count the hours until we meet, I count the minutes and seconds and somehow the moments, too. Wishing that by some miracle, the clock will increase its pace, that the hour would become much shorter.

You make me want to excel in everything that I do, and you make me want to do my best to make you proud of me. Because as if from now, you define me, and I define you.

Yours Taintlessness

2002-08-07T16:11:00.000-07:00

Love is truly a miracle. You don't know how you attained it, and you don't know what it is. You can just feel it. A feeling that is out of this world. A feeling that makes your whole body tremble at its powers. A feeling so strong, that with it, you feel you can rule the world. A feeling you can no more go on without. A feeling that can make you the happiest person ever.

Love is the unimaginable force which can take away your sanity. Love is the beautifier of all times. Love is the answers to all of your dreams. Love is the ultimate dream.

2002-08-05T15:16:00.000-07:00

I also wrote this:

Love, What are you?

Love, O, merciful tyrant,
O, blessed sin.
Love, O, Screaming silent,
O, blinding vision.

Madness mixed with sanity,
Chaos blended with serenity.
What are you? An entity?
Which you can fit inside a tinny heart,
Yet, you are larger than infinity.

If I don’t know what is love,
How can I feel it?
If no one can define love,
Why do they swear they’ve seen it?

Though it is day,
I know the night exist.
When there is no rain, I pray,
And clouds would tear, unable to resist.

Between heaven and hell,
We pray for God to be merciful.

O, Love, what are you?
You are in my heart, yet I don’t know,
How to define you.

Date: 2nd August 2002
By: Taintlessness

2002-08-05T15:14:00.000-07:00

I wrote this :

The Story of a Girl

This is the story of a girl,
With a heart that is made of glass.
With a brown hair that has a curl,
People don't recognize her as they pass.

Innocent and sweet, in love, she fell,
But it was, sadly, with the wrong one.
Since then she’d been living in a hell,
She had to go, she had to run.

But,

He lured her in with his maturity,
He locked her inside a room.
He took away her purity,
He threw her out, like an old broom.

She was torn apart,
How could this happen to her?
She lost her heart,
What on earth was left for her?

She lost all that is innocent,
All that is sweet.
She lost all that is brilliant,
All that is neat.

All that is left,
Are hopes and dreams.
All that she felt,
Are streams of gleams.

Love is not flawless,
Life is not fair.
She lost her senses,
She gasps for air.

But,

This misery has to end,
She has to get up on her feet.
She has to stop this ascend,
Among the best she shall find a seat.

For she is amazingly great,
Her heart is brilliantly made.
Time will bring justice to her fate,
And all her misery will begin to fade.

Date: 1st August 2002
By: Taintlessness

2002-07-29T02:41:00.000-07:00

I wrote this today:

Indescribable.

I feel a rush beyond description,
I feel the heat of the new day.
I am finally living the fiction,
Where everything is going my way.

The sun is bright,
Clouds are dancing.
Our souls filled with light,
Our feelings are enhancing.

And at night,
Love overrules us all.
Beautifies every sight,
Lure us in with a musical call.

At night, our dreams come true,
Our visions become alive.
Our feelings would fit the hue,
And finally our wishes would arrive.

I feel a rush beyond description,
I feel tender at my core.
I feel like I’ve cracked the encryption,
Of happiness and its finally at my door.

Date: 29th July 2002
By: Taintlessness

2002-07-28T12:55:00.000-07:00

Here is the latest poem that I've written:

'To my beloved Princess'

I come with my courage, I come with my sword,
Yet, I’m just a common, I’m not a lord.
But I’ve rid thee of the demons I’ve slain,
I took away your nightmares, I took away your pain.
I ask nothing of gold or fame,
I only ask thee to surrender to this flame.

I’ve crossed all the lands, all the fields,
Yet I was stopped by your shields.
My heart you’ve mended, my heart you healed,
So it was bound to happen, in love I was, indeed,
So should you my beloved, for love you have to yield.

Date: 27th July 2002
By: Taintlessness

I just felt like writing in the old english style, I had to. I've been reading few poems by Elizabeth Browning and Oscar Wilde.

2002-07-19T18:12:00.000-07:00

Here is the introduction of my novel: Friends in the way of Love.
Read it and tell me what do you think?
--------

PROLOGUE

They all gazed at the exquisite sky, pleading the full moon with their eyes, as if it held answers about their mysterious future, as if clouds could crowd the sky and answers about their dreams would fall with the rain. They were old enough to know what dreams were, but too young to know that some dreams may never come to life. They were young enough to be totally oblivious to how hard it would be to achieve them. They couldn't conceive of all the concepts of life, at least not the worst of them. Life for them was merely a world of joy, a realm of sparks and fireworks, and a field of playing and fun.

They had so many dreams; they had heaps of things that they were looking forward to. Like distant sparkling stars, they looked at them but they had absolutely no clue how to get to them.

They knew careers were supposed to be their first priority, whatever that meant, as their parents constantly talked about, "Education is everything," but that was not what those girls believed in. Whatever their parents said, it went in one ear and out the other; it didn't stop at the memory cells at all. What those memory cells were filled up with were information those little girls had seen and listened to. Visions from love movies, lovers cuddling at the park, phrases of love that their little ears caught, even by their own parents, or the way their heart melted at the tunes and the lyrics of a love song.

Love was all they talked about; it made them treasure life even more, oh, how it would add more beauty to any sight. They believed love could make people go under magical spells, they believed love could vanquish anything in its way. Absolutely anything.

Another thing they solidly believed in was their friendship, yes doubtlessly; they'd been friends for such a long time. They'd gone through a lot together, they'd been there for each other and they'd do anything for one another. Wasn't friendship the highest forms of love? If they'd been wrong, they didn't know it then. Such innocence, how could anyone possibly explain for them what the words "Betrayal" or "Treason" truly meant? That a thing as fierce as dishonesty exists, that not everyone tells the truth and that people think of ways to cheat almost all the time. They didn't know that they lived in an imperfect world.

A beautiful summer's night in their lovely neighborhood where they grew together along with the plants and trees, the place where they'd witnessed and observed the world. The field where they played together and spent all their times, the space where their dreams floated about them as they thought of them continuously.

The three girls were relaxing on the green grass; they were relieved that the summer was finally here. Such happiness it brought them, a break from the school, which meant more free time and more quality time, which was basically anytime they weren't at school. Next to each other they rested, silently enjoying the gorgeous night.

They were all born on the same year; maybe that was why they were such exceptional friends. A strong friendship, nonetheless, the girls were very different from one another. They didn't have much in common regarding personality or even the way they looked. Each one of them, was very unique and distinct, yet, you couldn't separate them from each other. It just wouldn't seem right.

They had an impeccable agreement, they could read each other's expressions and know instantly how they felt. A very unusual friendship, that was what they had and what they were blessed with.

Jennifer was a brunet, brown-eyed girl; her skin was a little tanned from her last trip to Florida with her family. Her parents were middle-class people, high school sweet hearts, who were lucky enough to stay in love so far. They had been married for fifteen years now with two children, Jennifer and Matt. With a five-year difference between the two kids, Jennifer had a lot of responsibilities towards her seven-year-old younger brother. That is why, she's probably more responsible than the other two, her mind always thought of the consequences before doing anything. She knew when to draw the line and when to stop. Often, the other girls would think she was spoiling their fun, but as always, she was right, and they knew that deep inside, but they never admitted it.

Next to Jennifer, lay Sandra who had beautiful black hair, dark brown eyes and a very white skin. Unlike Jennifer, Sandra was the youngest in her family with three older brothers. The eldest was twenty-years-old and her other two brothers were twins with only seven minutes difference, they were fifteen-years-old. Even after twenty-three years of marriage, Sandra's parents were just as happy as Jennifer's were. Sandra lived right across the street, twenty feet away from Jennifer's house, where they were laying.

And next to them lay a blonde girl with blue eyes. The only child of her parents who were well known in their neighborhood for being the richest. And probably, that was the reason she cared a lot for money, a material girl. Cameron was her name and she lived at the very end of this neighborhood, which was only five houses away. She was certainly the tallest among all her friends but definitely not the smartest.

It was Sandra who out-smarted her two friends in general, including at school. Although she had a good sense of humor, she wasn't as funny as Jennifer. Sandra loved to have fun, in her own way. She loved reading beyond reason; sometimes she would read three books a week. Writing was also one of her favorites; she kept a journal and wrote a few short stories. On the other hand, although Cameron's dad had a gigantic library, she never read any of the books; she hardly read her schoolbooks.

Immense joy overcame them tonight; they just came out of the movies, a romantic one. It was about a girl who was given a chance to pick everything she wanted in her dream guy, and she got him. So the girls were discussing what would they pick in the man of their dreams.

"I want to fall in love with a handsome, tall, gentle man. One that's only mine; elegant and funny." Jennifer said with a big smile spread over her face followed by a sigh. Not bad for a little girl, a girl who was really ambitious when it came to love. All three of them had smiles on their faces and all six eyes were fixed on the moon.
"I want mine to be smart, sensitive, kind, understanding and a man who can really appreciate me." Sandra said with a dreamy face; she closed her eyes trying to grasp that image and chase it to reality, chase it to her world.
"Rich and handsome, that's all I want." Cameron said quite loudly as if her dream was better than the other two.
Sandra said, "That's all?"
Jennifer answered instead, "Yup, I think that's all she's got on her mind." They both giggled; leaving Cameron confused since she was serious in her statement, she had no clue why they were giggling.
"What's so funny?" Cameron asked.
"Nothing," Jennifer answered, "I wish we'll always have each other, I wish we can always be together, you guys are the best." She leaned over them both and gave them a warm hug. They had all known each other for a long time, and you could hardly see one of them without the other two. They were almost inseparable.
Sandra yawned, breaking the silence; "I'm sleepy." She said.
"Me too, I'm going to bed." Jennifer said on the verge of yawning herself. Everyone nodded in agreement, they were all tired, and they had so much fun today. It was the last day of school and they couldn't believe the summer was finally here. They stood up and exchanged goodnights.
"Goodnight, I hope both of you get to meet your man of your dreams IN YOUR DREAMS!" Jennifer screamed at them, laughing loudly. They all laughed, each headed to her home.

Jennifer went right into her home, Sandra crossed the street to her home and Cameron passed a few houses and got to her house.
------------

2002-07-17T15:27:00.000-07:00

I still can't figure out what is wrong with this comment thingy. ok I've decided to post in here the Prologue, which is the introduction to my novel. Maybe tomorrow though, not now. I hope you will like it.

Go and watch The Time Machine, it's amazing. I also saw Unfaithful, it's ok as well. But if you had to choose one, go watch The Time Machine.

2002-07-16T17:27:00.000-07:00

Something is wrong with my comment link! So if you would please write your comments to me and send them to my email, or post them in the guest book, which ever suits you until I fix this problem. Thanks so much.

Do you think I should post the Prologue of my novel in here for everyone to see?? Is that a good idea? are you people out there curious if I can do it, write a novel? I do ask myself these questions sometimes. I think everyone have been through this phase, where they doubt everything they do, their abilities, even the simplest things seem suspicious and doubtful. So tell me, you think I should post it?

The layout of the blog has also changed, something was wrong with the older one, I don’t really like this one, but for now it will do.

2002-07-16T01:36:00.000-07:00

Finally, I've written a whole page in my novel. 'Friends in the Way of Love'. It's so exciting to be writing again, what a great feeling! I hope this streak is longer than I expect.

Can you imagine if someone told us about the internet and how it will connect people from all over the world with just one click, imagine if we were told all this 10 years ago. We wouldn't believe a word of it. Yet here it is, it happened. So imagine all the talk we hear nowadays about Cloning, how we'll have cloned people walking around us and we could never tell who is cloned and who is not. It seems so bizarre now, but in the years to come, is it going to be as usual as people logging on the net? Who knows.

2002-07-11T14:50:00.000-07:00

I haven't written anything in few days, I know, but I've been working on new updates. I hope you'll like them. I've been browsing a lot of homepages lately and most of them are really great. I'm really jealous, so I'm deciding from now on, to improve my page. It will be great, I hope.

If you're going to the movies, I recommend that you watch 'The Count of Monte Cresto'. Don't make the same mistake I did when I watched 'Hard Cash', it's not worth going to, even though Christian Slater and Val Kilmar are in it. Of course I'm not going to watch, 'Crossroad' that has Britinay Spears in it!! I don't think she can sing, why would I want to see her act? Don't be offended if you are a fan of hers, it's my personal opinion.

Life is filled with mysteries. No matter how much we try to solve, it never fails to baffle us with a new quiz. Always challenging us. But would knowing the future help? I personally don't think so, because even when you'll know the future you will have new problems waiting to be solved.

2002-07-08T16:10:00.000-07:00

I'm really excited about this new language I'm learning. It's so interesting to learn a new language. A great feeling. Still sometimes I sit in the class thinking, 'Je ne Comprend pas'. Yes I'm thinking in French now.

2002-07-07T15:59:00.000-07:00

I'm finally taking French lessons. I've always had a thing for the language but never had the time to attend any classes, until now.

Bonjour, Comment vas-tu? Bien? Je suis Emirien. Vous avez compris?
What do you think? Any good?

I've added a guestbook to my page, I'd be happy if you'd sign it.

2002-07-05T15:13:00.000-07:00

Today is my first day at work, wish me luck. Also check out my page, lots of changes, I hope you'll enjoy it. The Homepage

2002-07-04T17:07:00.000-07:00

He jests at scars, that never felt a wound.
[JULIET appears above at a window. ]
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the east, and Juliet is the sun!
Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,
Who is already sick and pale with grief,
That thou her maid art far more fair than she:
Be not her maid, since she is envious;
Her vestal livery is but sick and green,
And none but fools do wear it; cast it off.
It is my lady; O! it is my love:
O! that she knew she were.
-----
Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare.

2002-07-03T12:53:00.000-07:00

I've updated my homepage and added few of the new poems. Check them out, and soon I will reinnovate the whole page. Sorry I have not been updating the blog, or been on the net a lot. Life is really fragile and few peoblems have occured, but everything is ok now. Thank god.

2002-07-01T09:59:00.000-07:00

In my homepage, I've finished the page 'About Me', not sure if it got all the details needed. I like to keep things a bit mysterious around here. Check it out: About Me. So What do you think about it? I'm also going to start to link myself with other homepages, like kitten, Banoota, e3ashig, after their approval of course. Anyone else want to link me feel free, or want to be linked by me? Because I'm obviously not getting enough comments! Only one comment on my poems.

2002-06-28T16:27:00.000-07:00

Instead of writing in my novel, I dozed off and went to sleep. But the next day, something triggered me. I was overwhelmed by the feeling to write again, but this time, not my novel but instead my poetry. So I wrote two poems. The first one, I think, is different from the way I usually write. Well, here it goes:

With Love

I want to see
I want to feel
I want to breathe
I want to live
I want to love

I want to see
Like I’ve never seen before
I want to see
Love and be captured in it’s allure

I want to feel
The sun rays with my hands
I want to feel
The moonlight caressing the sands

I want to breathe
Fill my chest and make it heave
I want to breathe
Capture its essence before it leaves

I want to live
Everyday as if it was my last
I want to live
Look towards the future and glimpse at the past

I want to love
Because with love
I’d be able to see
With love
I’d be able to feel
With love
I’d be able to breathe
With love
I’d be able to live
And with you
I’d fulfill my dream

To see you
To feel you
To breathe with you
To live with you
To be in love with you
Because you are my love.

Here is the second one:

Do You Know?

There is a void and emptiness around me
I try to avoid the sadness that surrounds me.
I struggle to overlook the dark
I think of you and I see a spark.

Do I visit your mind?
Do you know that you’re living in mine?

Do I have a place in your heart?
Do you know that you’ve possessed mine from the start?

Do you ever feel me inside your soul?
Do you know that with yours mine is whole?

Do you ever say my name?
Do you know that because of yours I became insane?

Do you long for my voice?
Do you know that your voice is the cause of my rejoice?

Do you ever think of me and say, ‘I love you’?
Do you know that because of you I found out that Je t’aime means I love you?
Because I really do, I wonder if you feel the same way, too?

2002-06-27T14:25:00.000-07:00

I'm much better now. My mood has improved since yesterday. Actually, I'm in the mood of writing, so I might start working on my novel. I never got to write anything in my novel during the semester. But now that I'm done with College, I want to try and finish it. For those of you who don't know what it's about. It's called 'Friends in the way of love'. It's about those three girls who are bestfriends since they were kids. One summer, they all fall in love with the same guy. It's not only about love, it's also about friendship and things that could get into the way of both, love and friendship. It's also very mysterious, even I, don't know how it will all end. I'm going to have dinner, and then go and write away.

2002-06-26T11:57:00.000-07:00

The wave of depression hit me so suddenly, that I have absolutly no clue where it came from. Out of no where this grim feeling took over me. I feel I want to write down my feelings to chase that particular sense away. To regain control over myself and cast all else that is trying to capture me out. I feel lost and helpless. I feel the sadness. I feel pale and dried out. No time to list all the feelings out. I hope they stop haunting me now that I've put them down.

2002-06-24T04:09:00.000-07:00

I wrote a new poem, haven't written one in awhile. So here it goes:

'My Demise'

I feel the sparkling that is your eyes,
I feel that my heart is flying in your sky.
I feel the world is a part of magic,
I feel you’re the wizard that defies all logic.

I feel in heaven when I look into your eyes,
Would they be the reason for my demise?

I wonder, are you mine to claim?
Have we not met, who would we blame?
Because I tremble at the mention of your name,
My heart rumbles and becomes hard to tame.

What I have for you is real and bold,
Not a fairy tale nor a myth to be told.
I need you right now, to love and to hold.
For your heart, my dear, is pure as gold.

Would you ever feel the same way I feel about you?
Would you ever realize that my love is deep and true?
That my life is meaningless without you,
That my nights are endless without you,
That I won’t be able to make it through.

In my dreams, I wander and visualize,
You become so real to me and I realize,
I must be in heaven because I’m looking in your eyes,
But would they be the reason for my demise?

2002-06-23T02:37:00.000-07:00

I'm back. The weather in Bahrain is almost the same as here, lots of good changes going on there. Sorry I wasn't able to check anything, or even reply to anything. I've graduated, done with college for now. Higher Diploma in Avionics Engineering. I was picked to go to France in September on a scholarship by the Company who makes Mirage. That will be exciting, to fulfill another dream, since the company is only 15 minutes from Paris. I love Paris, never been there, and now the opportunity comes my way. Inshallah.

2002-06-19T08:04:00.000-07:00

I've flew to Bahrain today, so I might be unable to respond to anything. Sorry. Coming back on Friday.

2002-06-15T12:27:00.000-07:00

Portugal is out as well. Germany is advancing with England. But enough about the world cup for now. There are bigger news. Make sure to pick up Al Ittihad editon for the 16th of June. My picture is in there, look for me.

2002-06-12T16:31:00.000-07:00

Maybe the French deserved it, but Argentina didn't deserve to be out. I hope Italy doesn't go out today.

2002-06-11T11:13:00.000-07:00

Another day of studying and France is out. I was rooting for them today in spite of me hating the French team, because Zidane didn't get to play the first two matches. I can feel his sorrow of being robbed of his World Cup moment, all because of an injury in a friendly match with S. Korea. If I had a player like Zidane, I won't allow him to play any friendly matches, can't risk it. So since Brazil in world cup 1966 Champions of the previous world cup to go out in the first round, here comes France to match Brazil's disappointing outcast. Uruguay also went out after a fantastic match, which started as a humilating defeat for the team by Senegal, 3-0 in the first half, turned out to be a draw, 3-3 at the end of the match. But it wasn't enough for Uruguay to qualify. Saudi's went out, but that was no surprise. And last but not least, Cameroon went out, I wanted them to go instead of the Germans, but no such luck. That's all about the losers for today, I just hope Argentina and Italy don't go out. Italy is my favorite team and I really hope they will pass the first round and reach to the finals and win it all. Despite what that reffree did to them in their previous match against Croatia.

This is the picture of the Celebrations in 1998 after France won the World cup.

2002-06-10T11:10:00.000-07:00

Studying, studying and more studying. urrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhaaaaa. Nevermind me.

2002-06-09T11:51:00.000-07:00

I can't allow myself to concentrate on anything else but my exams, yet I find myself wanting, or needing to write. But I am seriously dried out. As if the lake of my imagination has been drained. As my quil've been broken, that's sounds like it's from Shakespeare in love. I love writing so much, and I miss it. I feel like a part of me is yearning to write, yet there is no time. *Sigh*

2002-06-09T11:49:00.000-07:00

2002-06-08T09:10:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is my first final exam for my final semester. Apart from this one, I have two other exams, so three in total and I'll be free, at last. Enough about exams though. I don't want to even think about them, for now. I don't even want to speak about the world-cup because it's already all over the place, I'm sure you get your dosage about it. So, what shall I talk about? The feeling of missing something? Yeah, that's sounds good. Don't you feel sometimes that although you have everything you've ever wanted, there is this feeling that you're missing something? It could be anything, a feeling, an emotion, a material thing. How come we're never fully satisfied? Greed?

I'm usually satisfied with what I have, yet this feeling haunts me. Like something is not there, where it should be.

This is one of my favorite paintings by Claude Monet.

2002-06-07T05:40:00.000-07:00

I feel the sparkling that is your eyes
I feel my heart flying in your sky
I feel the world is a part of magic
I feel you’re the wizard that defies all logic

I can't think of what to write, I'm stuck. Exams are drying out my brain....Help!

2002-06-06T01:24:00.000-07:00

My Dad's friend died today in an accident. We were kind of close. I feel so sad.

2002-06-04T15:31:00.000-07:00

After I was done with my presentation one of the teachers that attended the show (there were 3 teachers) said this : 'I think Omar was a teacher in another life.' I think he was exaggerating. I sat next to the teacher who was giving the grades and I peeked into his papers and saw my grade! A+. Yippie. I'm happy. Isn't it strange to be good at something you hate? Feels like such a waste.

2002-06-03T23:25:00.000-07:00

I have a presentation in 2 hours, I'm nervous. I'm still working on it. I hate presentations so much. Can't we just hand it by email, and that's it. Do I have to stand in front of a crowd and give this stupid presentation. In this Presentation I have to be the teacher and give my class mates and the teachers a lesson. Isn't that just stupid. My class mates know the subject, the teachers certainly know the subject and I know the subject, so why are we wasting each other's time? I have no clue.

2002-06-02T17:26:00.000-07:00

I don't know what to write anymore. No time for anything. Exams, projects, world cup, there is hardly time for anything else. I finished another exam today, got 84%, it was a bit difficult, then I went to Havana Cafe' to watch the first match between Argentina Vs Nigeria, then when it was over I went home and watched the rest of the match. As soon as the last match was over, I headed to my bed room and slept. I woke up at 12:30 am. I was amazed that I've slept such time with no disturbances whatsoever. Now, I feel exhausted. I'm heading to bed again. But I feel like writing something....

Hold me now and never let go,
I need you now, I've never felt this low.
Exams are starting and the time is so slow.
It's eating away at me, and no hope to glow.
But I look above and I see a light in your eye,
Your eyes are brighter than the stars in the sky.
I can see the passion, which answers my cry.
As you hold me so close,
Your breath smells like a rose.
I feel your love which I adore,
I feel the heat and ask for more.
I feel you heart as we embrace,
I feel it pound as our beats increase.
I feel your touch like a sweet breeze,
As our souls unite and our bodies, we tease.

Heading to sleep now. I feel better.

2002-05-31T22:33:00.000-07:00

I got the 100%. Thank god.

2002-05-31T15:28:00.000-07:00

Today I'm getting my result for that exam. I really hope I'll get the full mark. Then I have to go to a friend's house to study, and watch the World Cup matches. For everyone who didn't see Bandits, the movie starring Bruce Willis, Billy Bob and Kate Blanchet, go watch it. It's so funny. What more can I talk about in here??? What do you want to know about me? Tell me.

2002-05-31T07:38:00.000-07:00

The weekend is over, another week closer to the end of the semester. Few more weeks, the 16th of June is the last day. What a happy day that would be. You think it will be easier after graduation, or harder? I don't want to think about that for now. Just want to enjoy my life, take it one day at a time, and we'll see what happens.

There still seems to be people who are didn't see the link for my page so here it is again.
Taintlessness (Click here)
If you're looking for the poetry page, then once you're inside the page, click on the link Poetry.

2002-05-31T07:03:00.000-07:00

We've WON. Al Ain won.*happy* The Senegal defeated France. Isn't this amazing.

2002-05-30T07:15:00.000-07:00

Going now to the Match, Al Ain (My Team) against Al Shabab, I really hope we win. I'm sitting in the hot weather for them, the least they could do is win, for my sake. Don't you think?

2002-05-30T06:53:00.000-07:00

I don't think many of you know that I have a homepage with most of my poems and other stuff in it, so here is the link: Taintlessness

2002-05-30T06:47:00.000-07:00

This is the Poem # 70, I've got 30 more to go before I'll find a publishing house that would publish my poems.

Among The Few
----------------------

I always wondered what love would feel like.
How would I feel when lightning would strike.
Would my heart change its beat?
Would I feel it like an inflaming heat?

Would I feel insane?
Unable to explain.
The new feelings that I’d sense
The lust of raging emotions and their sins.

To know how you feel,
Yet you remain speechless.
To know that it’s real,
And you still doubt if it exists.

But if I fell in love, I always wondered, would it last?
Would I reminisce, full of grief if it became part of my past?
Would I go to bed every night and cry?
Would I lie still and wish to die?

Would I cruse the night?
Would I hate my life?
Would I ever see the light?
That would cut through the dark like a knife.

After feeling weak, would I be strong again?
After going mad, would I ever, once again, be sane?
Would my tears be drowned by the rain?
Would it banish my fears and end my pain?

So welcome love, I long for you.
I long to do the things that lovers do.
I want it to be a love so true.
Although not many have stumbled upon it,
I want to be among the few.
----------------------------

2002-05-29T11:43:00.000-07:00

I've finished with another poem (# 70) but I haven't thought of a title for it, yet. I hope you will all like it.

Today I've finished another phase test, if he doesn't give me the full mark for this one he's going to suffer!!! Well, not suffer, suffer, but I'll go and report him to the supervisor.

I'm so happy I'm getting lots of comments, I love each and every one of them. Please put your email address, because I would really want to thank you. I will do it soon, with all the exams and this up-coming project there is not time for anything. Except maybe for the poems. I can't help it, a feeling starts to come upon me, I could almost hear the words. Then I write it down. Anyways, I don't think I deserve such attention, but I love it. So thank you all.

2002-05-28T07:17:00.000-07:00

Here is the poem as promised.

Lightning Strike
------------

Lightning struck me,
Meeting an angel from above.
My heart and mind raced, wanting to see,
That when lightning struck,
Was it fate? Or was it luck?

Could it be love at first sight?
Could the darkness be blinded by the light?
When I met you I couldn’t understand
Why I couldn’t feel my legs and hands.
Then suddenly everything in me was enhanced.

Like a magic spell that you have spread
Like nothing I’ve ever seen or read

Lightning struck,
Was it fate?
Or was it luck?

Life is glorious, life is great
Luck is good, so is fate
It's not always a piece of cake
You have to suffer
You have to strive
So your own luck, you shall make.

So open your eyes
So you can realize
Every moment is a surprise

So if you pine
Don't worry, you'll be fine
As long as you inhale
As long as you exhale
You'll survive, you'll prevail

So open your eyes
And soon you'll sing an ode to joy
Like a kid with a brand new toy

So at all times
Open your eyes
Even when you sleep
In a dream your heart might leap
Seeing a person you might like
Then who knows?
Lightning could strike.
-----------
27th May 2002
It's my 69th Poem.

2002-05-28T06:29:00.000-07:00

We finished our Final Project, that was the major project we worked on for the whole semester. We restored the inside of an aircraft which was ripped away 6 years ago and it was never touched since then. Until we came with this project and restored everything. It looks very luxirious now. If the teacher will give me the pictures I will post them, the before and after photos.

The Ittihad newspaper came to take shots and make interviews, but alas, the teacher sent me to do something when they came, so I wasn't even in the group photo *sad* Make sure everyone buys the Saturday issue of the newspaper and see our work. I won't be in the photos though *sad*

2002-05-27T13:41:00.000-07:00

Do we really know the people we chat with? Can we trust them? A lot of people lately are telling me they don't. But I do. I don't think of them as virtual personalities, I think of them as persons, humen with real feelings. Because I believe everything they say, although I shouldn't. But I do. But the real question is: Do we really know the people we know in real life? Can't they wear fake feelings and expressions? Aren't they sometimes as confusing as an eFriend? So what's the difference?

Nevertheless, I say the truth about what I say, my feelings on the net are as true as they are in real life. I trust people easily although I shouldn't, but I can't help it. I'm naive and nice.

2002-05-26T23:32:00.000-07:00

Life is such a lovely journey, if you know your purpose, your place, your rights, your duties. Even when you are bored, or sad, if you look close enough and pay attention to details, you'll see things for the first time, even in the most familiar situations. So open your eyes, because lightening could strike.

2002-05-26T22:07:00.000-07:00

We've managed to delay the exam a few hours more. More time to review. Yuck. I thought the sooner you get over the exam, the better. But my classmates didn't agree.

2002-05-26T13:34:00.000-07:00

I have an exam tomorrow, and I don't feel like studying at all. I want to finish this poem I started, yet I'm stuck.

2002-05-26T13:06:00.000-07:00

I would like to thank e3ashig for complimenting me, he really shouldn't. I don't deserve it. Visit his homepage, it's amazing. http://www.e3ashig.com

2002-05-25T23:00:00.000-07:00

I can't remember the last I was happy like this. Everything seems to be working well. Everything. The day was never this bright, the night was never this fun. Life is magnificent. Life is brilliant. The previous post was a piece of a poem that I'm writing. I will soon share it with everyone. As soon as I'm done. I promise.