Instead of writing in my novel, I dozed off and went to sleep. But the next day, something triggered me. I was overwhelmed by the feeling to write again, but this time, not my novel but instead my poetry. So I wrote two poems. The first one, I think, is different from the way I usually write. Well, here it goes:

With Love

I want to see
I want to feel
I want to breathe
I want to live
I want to love

I want to see
Like I’ve never seen before
I want to see
Love and be captured in it’s allure

I want to feel
The sun rays with my hands
I want to feel
The moonlight caressing the sands

I want to breathe
Fill my chest and make it heave
I want to breathe
Capture its essence before it leaves

I want to live
Everyday as if it was my last
I want to live
Look towards the future and glimpse at the past

I want to love
Because with love
I’d be able to see
With love
I’d be able to feel
With love
I’d be able to breathe
With love
I’d be able to live
And with you
I’d fulfill my dream

To see you
To feel you
To breathe with you
To live with you
To be in love with you
Because you are my love.

Here is the second one:

Do You Know?

There is a void and emptiness around me
I try to avoid the sadness that surrounds me.
I struggle to overlook the dark
I think of you and I see a spark.

Do I visit your mind?
Do you know that you’re living in mine?

Do I have a place in your heart?
Do you know that you’ve possessed mine from the start?

Do you ever feel me inside your soul?
Do you know that with yours mine is whole?

Do you ever say my name?
Do you know that because of yours I became insane?

Do you long for my voice?
Do you know that your voice is the cause of my rejoice?

Do you ever think of me and say, ‘I love you’?
Do you know that because of you I found out that Je t’aime means I love you?
Because I really do, I wonder if you feel the same way, too?

I'm much better now. My mood has improved since yesterday. Actually, I'm in the mood of writing, so I might start working on my novel. I never got to write anything in my novel during the semester. But now that I'm done with College, I want to try and finish it. For those of you who don't know what it's about. It's called 'Friends in the way of love'. It's about those three girls who are bestfriends since they were kids. One summer, they all fall in love with the same guy. It's not only about love, it's also about friendship and things that could get into the way of both, love and friendship. It's also very mysterious, even I, don't know how it will all end. I'm going to have dinner, and then go and write away.

The wave of depression hit me so suddenly, that I have absolutly no clue where it came from. Out of no where this grim feeling took over me. I feel I want to write down my feelings to chase that particular sense away. To regain control over myself and cast all else that is trying to capture me out. I feel lost and helpless. I feel the sadness. I feel pale and dried out. No time to list all the feelings out. I hope they stop haunting me now that I've put them down.

I wrote a new poem, haven't written one in awhile. So here it goes:

'My Demise'

I feel the sparkling that is your eyes,
I feel that my heart is flying in your sky.
I feel the world is a part of magic,
I feel you’re the wizard that defies all logic.

I feel in heaven when I look into your eyes,
Would they be the reason for my demise?

I wonder, are you mine to claim?
Have we not met, who would we blame?
Because I tremble at the mention of your name,
My heart rumbles and becomes hard to tame.

What I have for you is real and bold,
Not a fairy tale nor a myth to be told.
I need you right now, to love and to hold.
For your heart, my dear, is pure as gold.

Would you ever feel the same way I feel about you?
Would you ever realize that my love is deep and true?
That my life is meaningless without you,
That my nights are endless without you,
That I won’t be able to make it through.

In my dreams, I wander and visualize,
You become so real to me and I realize,
I must be in heaven because I’m looking in your eyes,
But would they be the reason for my demise?

I'm back. The weather in Bahrain is almost the same as here, lots of good changes going on there. Sorry I wasn't able to check anything, or even reply to anything. I've graduated, done with college for now. Higher Diploma in Avionics Engineering. I was picked to go to France in September on a scholarship by the Company who makes Mirage. That will be exciting, to fulfill another dream, since the company is only 15 minutes from Paris. I love Paris, never been there, and now the opportunity comes my way. Inshallah.

I've flew to Bahrain today, so I might be unable to respond to anything. Sorry. Coming back on Friday.

Portugal is out as well. Germany is advancing with England. But enough about the world cup for now. There are bigger news. Make sure to pick up Al Ittihad editon for the 16th of June. My picture is in there, look for me.

Maybe the French deserved it, but Argentina didn't deserve to be out. I hope Italy doesn't go out today.

Another day of studying and France is out. I was rooting for them today in spite of me hating the French team, because Zidane didn't get to play the first two matches. I can feel his sorrow of being robbed of his World Cup moment, all because of an injury in a friendly match with S. Korea. If I had a player like Zidane, I won't allow him to play any friendly matches, can't risk it. So since Brazil in world cup 1966 Champions of the previous world cup to go out in the first round, here comes France to match Brazil's disappointing outcast. Uruguay also went out after a fantastic match, which started as a humilating defeat for the team by Senegal, 3-0 in the first half, turned out to be a draw, 3-3 at the end of the match. But it wasn't enough for Uruguay to qualify. Saudi's went out, but that was no surprise. And last but not least, Cameroon went out, I wanted them to go instead of the Germans, but no such luck. That's all about the losers for today, I just hope Argentina and Italy don't go out. Italy is my favorite team and I really hope they will pass the first round and reach to the finals and win it all. Despite what that reffree did to them in their previous match against Croatia.


This is the picture of the Celebrations in 1998 after France won the World cup.

Studying, studying and more studying. urrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhaaaaa. Nevermind me.

I can't allow myself to concentrate on anything else but my exams, yet I find myself wanting, or needing to write. But I am seriously dried out. As if the lake of my imagination has been drained. As my quil've been broken, that's sounds like it's from Shakespeare in love. I love writing so much, and I miss it. I feel like a part of me is yearning to write, yet there is no time. *Sigh*

I can't allow myself to concentrate on anything else but my exams, yet I find myself wanting, or needing to write. But I am seriously dried out. As if the lake of my imagination has been drained. As my quil've been broken, that's sounds like it's from Shakespeare in love. I love writing so much, and I miss it. I feel like a part of me is yearning to write, yet there is no time. *Sigh*

Tomorrow is my first final exam for my final semester. Apart from this one, I have two other exams, so three in total and I'll be free, at last. Enough about exams though. I don't want to even think about them, for now. I don't even want to speak about the world-cup because it's already all over the place, I'm sure you get your dosage about it. So, what shall I talk about? The feeling of missing something? Yeah, that's sounds good. Don't you feel sometimes that although you have everything you've ever wanted, there is this feeling that you're missing something? It could be anything, a feeling, an emotion, a material thing. How come we're never fully satisfied? Greed?

I'm usually satisfied with what I have, yet this feeling haunts me. Like something is not there, where it should be.


This is one of my favorite paintings by Claude Monet.

I feel the sparkling that is your eyes
I feel my heart flying in your sky
I feel the world is a part of magic
I feel you’re the wizard that defies all logic

I can't think of what to write, I'm stuck. Exams are drying out my brain....Help!

My Dad's friend died today in an accident. We were kind of close. I feel so sad.

After I was done with my presentation one of the teachers that attended the show (there were 3 teachers) said this : 'I think Omar was a teacher in another life.' I think he was exaggerating. I sat next to the teacher who was giving the grades and I peeked into his papers and saw my grade! A+. Yippie. I'm happy. Isn't it strange to be good at something you hate? Feels like such a waste.

I have a presentation in 2 hours, I'm nervous. I'm still working on it. I hate presentations so much. Can't we just hand it by email, and that's it. Do I have to stand in front of a crowd and give this stupid presentation. In this Presentation I have to be the teacher and give my class mates and the teachers a lesson. Isn't that just stupid. My class mates know the subject, the teachers certainly know the subject and I know the subject, so why are we wasting each other's time? I have no clue.

I don't know what to write anymore. No time for anything. Exams, projects, world cup, there is hardly time for anything else. I finished another exam today, got 84%, it was a bit difficult, then I went to Havana Cafe' to watch the first match between Argentina Vs Nigeria, then when it was over I went home and watched the rest of the match. As soon as the last match was over, I headed to my bed room and slept. I woke up at 12:30 am. I was amazed that I've slept such time with no disturbances whatsoever. Now, I feel exhausted. I'm heading to bed again. But I feel like writing something....

Hold me now and never let go,
I need you now, I've never felt this low.
Exams are starting and the time is so slow.
It's eating away at me, and no hope to glow.
But I look above and I see a light in your eye,
Your eyes are brighter than the stars in the sky.
I can see the passion, which answers my cry.
As you hold me so close,
Your breath smells like a rose.
I feel your love which I adore,
I feel the heat and ask for more.
I feel you heart as we embrace,
I feel it pound as our beats increase.
I feel your touch like a sweet breeze,
As our souls unite and our bodies, we tease.

Heading to sleep now. I feel better.